Welcome Winter With A Little Something Special

For awhile now I've been thinking what I could do to give back to my Blogging friends for being there for me over this past year. You know it's been a year of major ups and downs for me and all your comments kept a much needed smile on my face :o) Just knowing I had such a vast support system helped tremendously.

Oh how I wish I could send each and every one of you a little something but that is not possible at the moment so I've had to resort to Plan B. Unfortunately there can only be one winner BUT I hope I can put back a smile on every face that gave one to me :oD

So...how does a $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE sound???? And what if that gift certificate was for Anita's Little Stitches???? Huh? I bet you're smiling now! LOL!

I love Anita's! If you've never been there, check out her website. It always amazes me each time I go because she carries some fun and unique items not found elsewhere. What about a one pound bag of Christmas buttons? Or 55 count linen? Or maybe check out Anita's own designs. Her strawberry emery patterns are adorable and she has 15 sided Biscornus.

There are just a few teeny weenie rules so PLEASE read carefully :o)

1) In order to cash in on the gift certificate, your order must be $150 or more. Technically you're only paying $50 but you know there's things you've wanted to buy for awhile now ;o) Have you been wanting to buy those scissors you've been drooling over but just couldn't justify it? Now you can! Don't think you can buy enough for yourself? Hey, buy some for a friend too! Anita has been so generous to donate this gift certificate so please follow through.

2) You must be a Pumpkin Stalker and a regular commenter. You know who you are and I do too so don't question whether you qualify or not ;o)

3) There must be a way for me to contact you if you are the winner. Either leave your email with you comment or make sure you have it in your Profile. Chances are I probably already have it.

The giveaway will be open until late December 31, 2012. I will be away from the computer from December 21-27 so if your comment does not appear right away, don't fret! When I'm back online I will push comments through. You might want to double check just to make sure though.

I'm sad to say that we did not send out Christmas cards this year (only the second time since DH and I have been married) but I want to wish everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and safe and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! May your holidays be filled with the company of loved ones and may your tummy be filled with turkey ;o) Hugs to all from the Pumpkin Patch!

OMG! OMG! O-M-G!!!!

UPDATE...OH-MY-GOSH!!!!  She's mine!  She's mine!  All mine :o)  I just got an email from a fellow Blogger, Carolyn, and she has more than kindly granted my wish of the pattern AND the beads!!!!  I have the biggest grin on my face :oD  Thank you SO much Carolyn!  My heart has been warmed by your kindness and one day I will do a RAK in your name.  On with my original post while I do a Happy Dance...

UPDATE 2...Okay, this is getting crazy!  Now I have the fabric thanks to the generosity of Gabi :o)  I'm totally blown away.  Really.  And then, a GC from a Secret Santa?  Gee, I must have been a good girl this year.  LOL!  Let me tell you, this sure lifted my mood after being sick for the past 36 hours :o(  I can't thank you enough Gabi and Secret Santa but maybe on Friday I will come close to it...

Okay, last night I was innocently browsing through the ONS when I came upon Mirabilia's new release. Have you seen her yet? I am SMITTEN!!!! Take a look at her -

Isn't she GORGEOUS???? I just HAVE to have her! I do :o) I can SO see myself stitching her and adding her to my collection of beautiful ladies. Actually, I think she would make a perfect match for Sabrina.

Sigh! I miss stitching a BAP :o( There is something about them that is so satisfying and calming and for some reason; I always hate it when they come to an end.

I really hope that Santa leaves me some money ;o) LOL! I would love to have her to start the New Year with. Oh how I wish there was an instant porthole that you could order what you want and just reach in and get it! Wouldn't that just be the best? Come on, someone out there should be able to invent this!

Btw, this is not the Special Something I was talking about in my last post so remember to stick around ;o)

I'm Here!

Hmmmm...I see someone has hacked into my Blogger account ;o) LOL! I've always said that Junior is a smart little boy but I never expected this!

DH and I finally got things straightened around so we could get Junior's monthly photo. He was fantastic this time! I took less than two dozen pictures and voila -

Our boy is now 20 pounds and 27 inches long. He's now wearing clothes that are 12 months :o)

You're probably wondering what Junior's been up to lately. Well, let me tell you...he's crawling. And crawling. And crawling. Plus he's also halfway to walking! I have no idea where he gets his determination from ;o) He's so feisty and once he gets something in his head that he wants to do, look out because he won't stop until he's done it.

Junior has six teeth in :o) Those pearly whites are so cute! He's into eating meat now but we're a little worried that we're behind. We're trying the food for 8 month olds but Junior isn't crazy about them. We were quite surprised that they're so spicy so I'm not sure if that's what is turning him off.

I picked up Junior from the babysitter the other day and found out that him and R had their first fight. LOL! R's mother was telling me there was hair pulling and clawing! I just hope my boy learns to be nice to the ladies and realizes that a lady is always right ;o)

Thanks again for all your wonderful comments :o) Stay tuned for something VERY special later this coming week. Trust me; you aren't going to want to miss it!!!!

Hi Everyone!

It's Junior here :o) I've snuck onto Mommy's computer and thought I might leave a quick post to let you know what's been happening around here. I know you have all been waiting for my monthly picture but it hasn't been taken yet. Mommy and Daddy were going to take it on Sunday but I feel asleep and when I woke up, my hair was a mess, I had a crease on my face from the bed sheet and I had crusties from a snotty nose ;o)

Since her last post, Mommy has been doing quite well except that she has been very, very tired. So much so that she had my Grammy and Grampy come over for five days and then my Grandma and Grandpa over for four. You just know that I was spoiled during this time ;o) I have been trying to help and took up the task of washing windows -

It was hard work though -

Mommy says that she's halfway through 'Cycle 2' and the swelling has gone down under her arm. Whatever that means. All I know is that she seems quite happy about it. She also complains that her fingertips and toes are quite sore. I don't think she caught them in the door but that's usually how I hurt mine.

Daddy has been very busy at work so Mommy has her hands full with me. I don't allow her to do much these days because I'm always on the go and like to have her undivided attention. Hey, it's all about me, right? I'm a super crawler and I'm determined I'm going to walk very soon. Mommy thinks it's hard to keep up with me now. Just you wait!

I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about 'Christmas' and apparently we're going to NB for the holidays. I'll get to have my first ferry ride! I'm anxious to see my Grammys and Grampys again and all my cousins. I'm not sure what the big hype is but everyone seems quite excited. I keep seeing this jolly old man in a red suit. I've never seen him before but he looks kind of funny to me.

I guess I had better get off the computer before Mommy catches me. I know she'll be back as soon as she can. She keeps talking about how much she misses her Blogging friends :o)

The Not-So-Good, The Unpleasant & The Bad

I know the last time I posted about my situation; I didn't leave you with very much information. Unfortunately, the way things have been going, I haven't been given the opportunity to update you until now. As you can see by the title of this post, I've warned you that the news won't be great :o(

On October 26, I met with my Oncologist. Since cancer cells were showing up in my lymph nodes and radiation would only treat specific locations and not the whole body, it was decided that Chemo was my next step. After a quick debate, I went with the oral form. I would take pills every day for two weeks straight and then take one week off. That would be considered 'a cycle'. At that time, we didn't know how many cycles I would be looking at.

So, that Monday, I started swallowing ten pills a day (on top of my others!) but then that same night I found myself going to the ER with an extreme pain in my right side :o( The doctors felt that I had backed up bowels (because of the narcotics I'm on) and sent me home with a prescription. Less than 8 hours later, I was back again with the same pain. Needless to say, I was not feeling very 'human' like on Halloween and missed seeing Junior and the children coming to the door.

During all this, I ended up stopping my Chemo for almost four days, not knowing what the real cause of the pain was and because I wasn't eating or drinking very much. By Sunday, I had had enough (the pain was still there) so it was off to the ER again, knowing that my doctor was on call :o) He thought we 'might' be looking at a kidney stone but he wasn't 100% sure so he ordered another CAT scan and luckily I got in on Wednesday afternoon.

A quick side note...because I'm given a drug called Pamidronate every four weeks, they have to monitor the creatinine levels in my kidneys through blood work. Too high a level can cause kidney damage. I was due my Pamidronate on Thursday so had my usual blood work but it showed my creatinine levels were high. After another repeat test and the levels being even higher, my treatment was cancelled and I was told to stop my Chemo altogether. By this time, I was just short of getting a full week in of Chemo when I should have been almost done a full cycle.

Anyway, when I got home Wednesday night I was NOT prepared for what awaited me when I came in the house :o( From the time my scan was done to the time I got home, DH had heard from my doctor and my Oncologist. The scan showed that a mass was blocking the tube that goes from my right kidney to my bladder and it was not a kidney stone. To add insult to injury, they found another mass on my left side :o( I can't even begin to tell you how defeated I felt at that moment. All I could see were years of my son's life being missed because I was gone. I had a MUCH needed emotional breakdown.

Are you still with me? LOL! The following day we found ourselves at the QEII in Halifax where Dr. B. placed a foot long (at least!) stint in the blocked tube. It was just day surgery but I was put under. Talk about a HUGE relief when I woke up though! Without the pain, I felt like a new woman :o) Depending on what happens with the mass, the stint will either be replaced or taken out in 2-3 months.

So that brings me back to those 'masses'. After talking to my Oncologist, this is what I know...a 'mass' doesn't necessarily mean a 'tumour'. It could be an enlarged lymph node BUT it could still be a tumour. Seeing as I had enlarged lymph nodes in that area back in June, we're hoping that's what they are but the only way to tell the difference is through a biopsy and they're not going to do that.

The action plan now is to repeat my blood work today (hoping the creatinine levels are down now that my kidneys are back in proper working condition) and if everything looks good, I will re-start my Chemo like it was a new cycle. It looks like it will take at least 2-3 cycles to determine if it is taking effect or not. That will be the hard part...waiting. My Oncologist still sounds very positive so that in turn has lifted my spirits enough to continue on this journey.

This journey, yes, that's what it is. Something I thought would only take over my life for a few months has lasted much longer. It's worse than an unwanted guest overstaying his welcome ;o) But as DH says, we'll have to look at it like it is a journey and we'll do it together as a family. My family, my friends and even people I don't even know have been there for me and I can't ask for more. Despite my situation, I am VERY fortunate. I have a devoted (and perfect) husband, a son who is a miracle joy, caring and thoughtful friends and a solid family wall of love and support behind me. THOSE are the 'things' I need to focus on when the road gets rough and there is no journey without rough terrain.

I know a lot of you have sent me things by mail or by email and I'm ashamed of my backlog. I have been keeping up with my Thank You notes so expect something in the mail if you sent me something and have not had a confirmation by email. Unfortunately emails have been put on the back shelf for now but I AM reading them all and appreciate all your wonderful notes and comments! So far I have responded to all comments on my Blog but for this once, if you left a comment before this post and don't require me to respond, I won't. I'd really love to clean up my inbox and that will certainly help. LOL! It doesn't mean that your comments mean any less to me! I hope you understand. Thank you :o) Let's see how life gets on now...

Surprise...I'm On Time :o)

Considering what things have been like since my last post, it's a miracle I'm even here! I know I have complained about time flying by but I REALLY have no idea where it went since I posted on October 22.

So to bring you up to speed on Junior, here he is in all his glory at seven months old -

I guess he takes after his mother when he gets in front of a camera because he just freezes right up ;o) LOL! This was our best shot of this photo shoot.

Yesterday, Junior's top right front tooth came through! YAY! The left is very close behind. Very soon we'll have four pearly whites :o)

His crawling is still in the beginning stages but he will 'crawl' for certain things, including my Crocs. ???? It probably won't be much longer.

DH and I have continued to introduce new foods to Junior. We have found that he loves peas, green beans, peaches and pears. He LOVES sucking on his pieces of apple :o) I was getting a bit worried about his eating but I think he's starting to open up to new things. He definitely makes it known when it's 'cereal time'!

I've been taking Junior to a weekly playgroup that is just down the street from us. He enjoys watching the other children play. They range from his age to about 3 years old. And he's already been kissed by a girl!!!! GASP! My little boy! AND...she's an older woman too ;o) LOL!

Since I wasn't in human form for Halloween (literally!), I'm posting a bonus picture of Junior for you ;o)

Gee, I wonder why his first costume was a pumpkin...

I'll be back shortly to update you on what's happening with me. Thanks for sticking around :o)

Good News & Bad

This post is long overdue but each time I've gone to write it, I'm either too tired or my heart just isn't in it. For this I apologize. I know there are a lot of you who are wondering what has been going on around here so hopefully this will bring you up to speed if you don't already know the latest.

I'll go back to my radiation treatment back in August...in all, I had ten sessions. Luckily, I had minimal side effects. It was the fatigue afterwards that really hit me but we muddled through :o) DH extended his time off until October 1 so I had another month to recoup with someone else helping out with Junior. As the days went on, I was feeling better and better. My pain medication was decreasing and so was the pain in my sternum. Things were going well until...

During the Labour Day weekend, I had picked Junior up when something went funny in my left armpit. The pain sliced right through me. As I waited to see what was wrong, it became apparent to "me" that it was my lymph nodes. Over a period of time, the area would swell and then go back down again. I went to the ER, my family doctor and the Medical Oncologist (MO) and they all said that it wasn't the lymph nodes. My family doctor thought it might be in the bone so I went for another bone scan. It came back clean. My sternum area was still lit up but that can either be from the radiation or the cancer but since it was showing improvements, it's more likely that it was just the radiation causing this.

The MO decided to do a CAT scan as well since it was at least three months since my last one. The good news is that there were no other tumours anywhere and my pelvic area was clean. Even the lymph nodes that were enlarged in that area were good. The bad news...there was an additional 'hole' in my sternum, close to the original one AND I had three enlarged lymph nodes in my left armpit. DH says I should be a doctor ;o)

The MO felt that since the new 'hole' was within the radiated area, it would be treated and he wasn't worried about that at the moment. Based on what he saw and my history, he felt that the lymph nodes were an indicator that the cancer was back :o( He talked about doing radiation on the area but the Radiologist said it would be best not to. Now there is talk of chemotherapy.

Unfortunately this is all the information I have for you at the moment :o( This Wednesday we'll meet with the Radiologist and then on Friday, the MO. DH and I are full of questions since we pretty much feel we've been left in the dark. The lymph nodes are constantly swollen now and have put pressure on some tendons or ligaments in my arm, not allowing me to straighten my arm without a lot of pain. This runs the whole length of my arm. Because of this, my pain medication has been increased a bit; otherwise, I'd probably be off of that right now.

I wish I had more to tell you at this time. It was a huge blow for me to hear the 'C' word again :o( I'm SO TIRED of this and it's been very hard to keep my spirits up lately. Thankfully DH and Junior are my cheering squad and they do look pretty cute in their cheerleading uniforms ;o) LOL!

As soon as we know more, I will post again. Hopefully it won't be a drawn out thing. DH and I just want to get on with our life...

Again, I want to thank everyone for their support. It truly means a lot to me and us :o)

Oups, I Did It Again...

I don't even have to tell you what I did wrong because I know you are all waiting to see the latest picture of the little man ;o) LOL! Here he is -

Can you believe he is SIX MONTHS old???? Again, where does the time go? No, really...where did it go?

Junior has come such a long way, even since last month. His bottom teeth are showing up really well :o) We tried desperately to get him to smile and show them off but that wasn't happening. He is sporting his dimples though.

We've seen so many changes in Junior lately. He can sit by himself without assistance. Of course he still has a few falls with a good thunk to the head but what are a few bumps and lumps? LOL! He is also up on all fours and rocking back and forth, getting ready to crawl. {shudder} His legs are SO strong! I wouldn't be surprised if walking wasn't far behind crawling. Junior was supposed to go for his shots last Wednesday but his appointment got cancelled. He's scheduled to go today so we'll get him weighed in. DH thinks he's running around 18 pounds based on our scales here at home.

We also found a babysitter for Junior! This gives me two days a week where I can schedule other things, like doctor's appointments, and I know he's being well looked after (DH is back to work). The woman who is looking after him has a five year old boy and a seven month old girl (R). Her girl is EXACTLY one month older than Junior. They get along like a house on fire and have quite the conversations. When I pick him up at the end of the day, he chats to me on the way home. I'm not sure what he's saying but it sounds like he does enjoy his play dates. From what I'm told, he likes showing off for R ;o)

I know I keep apologizing for being away from my Blog but I feel quite bad for not keeping in touch :o( It's not that I don't want to. Unfortunately my little hiccup has turned into something a bit more but I will update you in the next few days.

I'm Late, I'm Late!

I'm late for a very important date :o) As I'm sure you already know, Junior turned five months old just over a week ago. Here is a picture of our little man -

I have to say that this has to be one of my favorite pictures of him so far. Look at that devilish grin and just guess what's going on in that little head of his ;o)

Sigh...I've missed all of you. But there is one thing that I'm lacking of lately. Time. I would love more time. Too bad you couldn't squeeze time like a lemon. LOL!

The past few weeks have been filled with all kinds of firsts for Junior :o) He's starting to sit up on his own, without support. We've seen the beginning of what we believe is crawling, although Junior needs to quickly realize that plowing his immobile front end with his hind legs does not really count as a true crawl. LOL!

On the weekend we started him on rice cereal. He's doing really well and takes the spoon with no problems. And we have...teeth! TWO of them! His first one (bottom left) broke through on September 7 and the other one just yesterday. I can't wait to see that toothy smile :o)

Junior has been using his Jolly Jumper and LOVES it. It's hilarious to watch him jump and spin around, all the while laughing and screeching. He's our evening entertainment ;o)

You might not believe this but I 'have' been stitching! Nia will be very pleased with me because I'm catching up on our Halloween Rules SAL. Hopefully I can post some pictures soon.

Where Does The Time Go?

I'm a few days late in posting this. DH and I have no idea where the time has gone but our little man turned four months old this past Friday!

With things being so hectic around here, he never got his photo shoot until Sunday morning. Junior’s wardrobe is narrowing down as our little boy is growing into a big boy ;o) One of my Stalkers will surely recognize the shoes... I’ll apologize now for the ‘do’. That was DH’s contribution. LOL!

On Friday as well, DH took Junior to the doctor for his second set of vaccines. Apparently he was an angel in the waiting room but had a complete meltdown as soon as he was laid down on the table to be undressed. Because of this, he never even noticed the needles. LOL! He weighed in at 14 pounds 12 ounces and is 25 1/4 inches long.

We were pleased to witness Junior roll over this past month and he is working on his laugh. He loves playing and his curiosity is really coming out. He’s also been teething and anything and everything goes into his mouth. DH and I just hope the teeth present themselves soon!

Radioactive Pumpkin

Ha! Sounds like I should be a comic book character doesn't it? :o) 

Today was my first day of radiation treatment. Physically, fairly basic and simple. It's about a 15 minute procedure, although they did take some x-rays in that time frame as well. I lay on a bed/table, much like a CAT scan, and the machine works around me. I'm fitted into a mold of my body and they align me using the 'tattoos' that they gave me a week ago. Two to three minutes later and I'm out the door! Yes there are possible side effects but I'm told they should be minimal.

Mentally, not as straight forward as I thought it would be. During the past couple of weeks, the real toll of what's been happening has risen to the surface. There have been a number of hiccups along the way and although I remain strong, I find myself struggling with my emotions. Anger and sadness are the top two contenders.

Tomorrow we return to the Big City for round two of my radiation treatment. Since my last post, I met with the radiologist and he upped my sessions to ten :o( So that means one down, nine more to go... As far as the pain goes, they told me it might disappear right away or it could take 6-8 weeks after radiation. I'm hoping for the former but any pain relief is good in my books.

I also had my first treatment of Pamidronate. This is a lengthy procedure but painless IF the nurse manages to get the needle into your vein the first time. Honestly, my veins are a nurse's dream! Go figure... There is one side effect that I have noticed and that's a body ache/stiffness afterwards. It only lasted a few days so it wasn't too bad.

I met with the Gyny Oncologist today as well. Things look really good and I'm free to start exercising AND pick up Junior :o) That was music to my ears! Well, to be totally honest, I have been cheating for the past week. LOL! I miss that little boy so much. I still have to be careful because of my sternum but at least I have the green light.

I know I haven't been around much but like I said, there have been a few hiccups along the way. I have managed to put in some stitching and I have even finished a project! Woohoo! Now all I need to do is catch up with my Blog posts so you can see for yourself and know that I'm not fibbing ;o)

Again, a big thank you to everyone who has left a comment, emailed or even snail mailed me :o) I wish you could know just how much your support and friendship mean to me. I know this is supposed to be mainly a cross stitch Blog (with a few of life's bumps thrown in) but it's been consumed with my current health situation. I see I've lost a few Stalkers and it may be because of that, I don't know. Cancer has robbed me of friendships along the way so I really appreciate those that stay. Stay tuned for something fun!

And So It Begins...Again...

Tomorrow I will find myself (for the second time), battling 'The Big C'. Unfortunately this time it's not as simple. The doctors cannot give me the treatment and then say "You're cured!" No, this time the cancer is here to stay :o( Now it's all about making me comfortable (from the pain), getting my body into remission and keeping it there.

A few weeks ago the surgeon called to let me know about the pathology report. It was found that because it's been 12 years since my breast cancer, the cancer cells are presenting themselves a little differently but...they 'believe' the new sites are breast cancer related. That leaves me with a bit of doubt in my mind but that's the best they can give me unless the treatments don't work and prove them wrong. Great system, don't you think? I know I have some of the best doctors on my case but after my initial experience, it's hard to put my full faith in someone else's hands.

So yesterday, DH and I went into the 'big city' to meet with the Medical Oncologist. The day had finally arrived where I would know the plan of attack. In a nutshell, my treatment will consist of the following...

I'm being put on a drug called Letrozole (brand name Femara). For how long, I don't know. It's similar to Tamoxifen and does the same thing by lowering what estrogen levels I have left in my body. If the cancer were to return, then that might be the point where chemotherapy is called for. The doctor believes that my outlook is good considering the length of time since my breast cancer back in 2000.

I'll also be given a drug called Pamidronate every month. It's given by IV and takes about 2-3 hours. This will help strengthen my bones and aid in rebuilding the hole in my sternum. We'll have to travel to the 'little city' for this.

Finally, there will be radiation on my sternum to help with the pain. I have an appointment next week with the radiologist so we'll know more about this then. The oncologist said it 'might' be a five day course and that it will be fairly soon. I'm not thrilled about radiation but the pain is getting worse. I've tripled my long lasting pain medication and it still hurts...a lot!

Right now, DH and I are still trying to wrap our heads around what is happening and how it will affect our lives. It took me eight years to get over the fear of my breast cancer returning and now...well now I have to live with the fact that this is being treated like a chronic disease and I'll be screened for the rest of my life :o( There is no escaping it this time. But...I am stronger so I'm sure I'll be able to figure out a way that cancer doesn't take over my life. I've got two very good reasons right here with me ;o)

I just cannot get over all the wonderful cards/emails full of support, prayer and friendship, along with thoughtful gifts that will help alleviate some of the financial burden. It touches my heart that we mean that much to people. I've tried my best to send out thank you notes or reply to Blog comments but if you didn't leave an email address, I could not get back to you personally.

So here's to another direction in life! Hopefully the road will be much smoother than I anticipate.

Another Month

Guess who turned three months old today? Yes, that would be our little Junior :o)

Doesn't he look handsome? He wasn't really into his photo shoot today but I did manage to get one good picture. We'd rather have him smiling but you take what you can get in these situations.

Time is going by so fast! I can't believe the changes in such a short period of time. Junior is more interested in the world around him now and gets easily distracted. He LOVES ceiling fans! No toys here. Just buy the boy a fan and he's happy :o) LOL! He's also found his tongue and is constantly trying to put his fists into his mouth. We can't bribe him with soothers anymore but he does love his doggy snugglies.

Junior got weighed yesterday and he came in at 13 lbs. 3 oz. I measured him and he's about 25 inches long. I can hold him and feed him but he feels so big in my arms now. Even though I have a little more interaction with Junior, I still can't get enough of him :o)

Fourth Finish For 2012

"Well it's about time!" you're saying ;o) LOL! I'm 'way' behind in showing you what I've got stitched up so there's going to be a lot of catching up to do.

I had this done back in February or March, I can't remember. This is Happy Valentine's Day by Passione Ricamo -

It was stitched using Waterlilies Cardinal on 36 count Antique White linen.

My 'initial' idea was to have this finished into a pillow before I posted it to my Blog and my intentions were good! I had the pillow all sewn up and when I went to turn it right side out, I was crushed to find out that I had the fabric reversed >:o( Needless to say, I was mad and it was put aside. I will get back to it though, I promise ;o)

Stay tuned for more!

Could It Be?

Being away from stitching for awhile has kind of put me in the dark. I miss my routine of surfing the web. Lately I've been checking out my favourite haunts to see the latest designs and besides the special JCS magazine issues, nothing has really taken my fancy. That was until the other day...

Can you say O-M-G???? Those are the exact words that came out of my mouth when I spotted this new release -

Halloweenies by Plum Street Samplers. A wonderful combination of Halloween and Doxies :o) What could be better? Well, maybe chocolate and peanut butter but we're not talking food here. LOL!

As you can imagine, that little 'puppy' got ordered up pretty fast! I think they will look fantastic with Boris and Sergei :o)

Bouncing Back

Boun-cy, boun-cy, boun-cy!

Hi everyone! It's been a week since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good :o) I got home on Saturday afternoon and since then, each day gets a bit easier. I have a nice vertical five inch scar below my belly button. I just figure it adds to all the ones I already have.

The surgery went well and my doctor was excellent. Those are the only two good things about this experience... Thankfully my hospital stay was short because I don't think I would have lasted much longer. I originally had a private room but was quickly moved to a three person ward :o( Not happy considering we pay full coverage.

My cell mates included a nun (very nice lady) and the most ignorant, demanding person I have ever met. She was so rude to the doctors and nurses. I would have been much happier if she was the one that had taken my private room! I'm sure the nun would have agreed with me too ;o)

We're still waiting to hear the pathology report but we were told it would probably be after the holiday. Unfortunately we already know that the tumor was malignant :o( So until then, we wait to see which path I will be taking next.

I think the most difficult thing is that I am limited in what I can do with Junior :o( I hope that soon I can at least hold him but I know it will be at least 6-8 weeks before I can pick him up. It's so hard watching others interacting with him this way but I am very grateful that we've had all this help.

Again, I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or emailed me. I'm very lucky to have as many wonderful friends as I do :o)

The Time Has Come...

I have some big news to share with everyone. On Wednesday, June 20, I am going in for my hysterectomy. Thankfully I got an appointment in less than three weeks so hopefully all this waiting will be over quicker than we expected. In a way I don't want it to happen so fast because I'm afraid what the outcome will be but on the other hand, I want it done and over with so that I can just get on with my life.

My surgeon is supposed to be excellent from what I've read and heard. She performed my neighbours' hysterectomy and my neighbour raved about her. That makes me feel good but I'm still very nervous about the whole thing. Since my breast cancer, I've avoided hospitals whenever necessary. Let's just say that my anxiety is a tad high right now. But...I keep telling myself that I gave birth to an 8 lb 10 oz baby, so this should be a breeze...right?

Last week I got some good news (on my birthday no less) :o) I had a blood test done awhile back that can indicate whether you have ovarian cancer or not. Unfortunately it's not 100% accurate but at least it gives us some idea. Anyway, the levels came back low so that's good. Again, that doesn't rule out ovarian cancer completely but it's A LOT better than if the levels came back high. Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow will be spent getting organized for my trip. I'll be in Halifax while DH travels back and forth. The poor man will be torn between me and Junior. Junior will be home with both sets of parents looking after him so I feel very good about that. Still, it will be hard to leave him :o( They tell me I'll be in the hospital from 3-5 days but I suspect I'll be in there for the full five.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for their wonderful comments full of friendship and support. I can't even begin to tell you how much they mean to me. I have tried to email everyone that has left a comment but I haven't been able to finish yet and there were some people that didn't have an email address. My belief is, you took the time to leave a comment, so the least I can do is reply back :o)

So I will be away from the computer for at least a week, maybe longer. When I get the chance, I will update you again as to where we are. Until then, hugs to you my friends :o)

The Little Man

He turned two months old today! It's so hard to believe.

Tomorrow he goes for his first set of shots. Should be an interesting appointment. I just hope it won't be too hard on Junior :o( Over a week ago he weighed in at 11 lbs 5 oz and was 24 inches long. I suspect when he's checked tomorrow, he'll be well over 12 lbs and he may have stretched a few more inches :o)

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Ever since he was born, I've been singing this song to Junior whenever I put him down to sleep. He seems to like it. One night I really paid attention to the words and realized that "I'm" that spider! I keep getting beat down but eventually I get back up and try again. At least that's what it feels like lately...

I know I have kept you all in suspense as to what has been happening here lately but I was waiting to get more information before I gave you an update. By no means is this a simple case of cancer I'm afraid. It seems that I continue to be 'special'. I hate being special.

On May 30 I had the CAT Scan and the next day got the results. It seems there is a mass (5 cm) on one of my ovaries and it's presenting itself like cancer. Because of the cancer in the bone, they can't say if this is ovarian cancer or cancer that has metastasized from my breast cancer (2000). The bottom line...I will be having a complete hysterectomy to remove the tumor and the rest of my girlie goodies. Only after they have tested the tumor will they be able to tell us more. Right now it looks like there is a three week wait for the surgery. Sigh!

So here is where we stand right now...on June 7 we met with the Medical Oncologist in Halifax. The best case scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is benign. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus a drug to strengthen the bone. That would be it.

The second best scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is cancerous. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus the drug to strengthen the bone but also chemotherapy.

After that meeting I felt pretty good and quite positive. I love my doctor and feel that he will do whatever it takes to give me peace of mind. It was explained to us though that this is something that will never go away. We almost have to treat it like a chronic disease. I'll probably be monitored for the rest of my life but if that's what it takes so I can be here to see Junior grow up, then I'll take it!

If it were only that straight forward... The next day we met with the Gynecologist Oncologist regarding the mass on my ovary. As I said, it will have to come out and until then, we have no idea what we're dealing with. She couldn't even give me scenarios because there were so many. I guess the worst case would be that this is ovarian cancer. At what stage I'm at, they don't know. I haven't had any symptoms. They do know the tumor was not there on my November ultrasound.

So we wait. As it stands, we won't have any answers for at least five weeks. I've resigned myself that this is going to be a lengthy process but I refuse to let it eat up my life. I have a special little boy that I want to watch grow up and my focus will be on him and DH. This cancer is NOT going to take away something I have waited decades for. I finally have a purpose in life and I'm happy!

I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or sent me an email. All I can say is WOW! Your kindness and friendship are truly appreciated. I only wish I could tell you how much. I miss you all! I'm going to try and get back into the groove of things because I have so much to share and show you :o)
 

Another Curve Ball

I know I have been MIA lately. I've received many emails wondering where I am and I apologize that I have not responded to anyone. You'd expect me to be living the good life; happy with my little man and relishing my new role as a mother. I certainly am but I've also been hiding another secret, this being an unhappy one. Now that I have confirmation, I want to update you all as to what is going on.

Do you remember back in my last months of pregnancy when I was complaining about my chest hurting and everyone came to the same conclusion that it must be muscular in nature? Well, that pain continued when we brought Junior home from the hospital. The first round of drugs that my doctor put me on did not work. When it got so bad that I could not even hold Junior, I went back to see him again. This time he put me on a narcotic and ordered some tests to eliminate alternate possibilities that would explain the pain.

While looking for one thing, they found something else...something that never even crossed our minds. During one of the scans, they found a 5 cm hole in my sternum (bone). The bone scan lit up a tiny corner of the hole, indicating that it could be cancer. Last week I went to Halifax and had a biopsy done. It was confirmed...it is cancer :o(

Now we don't have all the particulars and there is only so much information I can give at this time. From what I understand, this could be metastatic bone cancer, resulting from my breast cancer in 2000. Who would have thought that would come back to haunt me? As of today, I'm waiting for a CAT Scan and then we'll meet with an Oncologist in Halifax in about 2-3 weeks. As I have said before, the waiting is always the hardest part, especially when you don't know what you're dealing with and you have so many questions swirling around in your head.

To say that we're scared is an understatement. This was supposed to be a happy time in our lives. I finally found my purpose in life and now I'm terrified that it will be taken away from me. Every day I look at Junior and wonder if he'll have a mother as he grows up. I know I may be jumping the gun but I have to be open to that possibility. As soon as I know more, I'll post another update.

I want to thank everyone for their emails. I'm not sure when I'll get to answering any of them but I hope you will understand. I do want to let Christina, Marion, Valerie (France) and Jane know that I have received your packages and I will be in touch! I can't thank you enough :o) Mouse, nothing has arrived as of today :o(

I miss you all very much but this is a very emotional time here at the Pumpkin Patch and the most important thing is that I be with my family. I may have quite a busy road ahead of me so if I don't email you back, please know I will try but I cannot guarantee it. You had been so wonderful during my pregnancy and I can't tell you how much I appreciated it :o) All those words of support kept my spirits up. You guys are THE BEST!

Look Who's...

Four weeks old!!!!

It's hard to believe. Now I know what people mean when they say that the time goes by fast. Yesterday, Junior weighed in at 9 pounds, 7 ounces! My boy is growing.

We had a slight wardrobe malfunction this morning. I had a cute little outfit all set out for Junior to wear but quickly realized that he looked like he was sporting a potato sack! Not the look we were going for ;o) 

Please Welcome...

Junior Pumpkin Patch
April 10, 2012 at 9:41pm
8 pounds, 10 ounces

Sorry but I will not be posting Junior's real name on my Blog. For those of you who want to know his real name and who are not on my email notification list, please leave a message in your comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can :o)

Thank you for being patient with me! I've received many wonderful emails that I just haven't had the time to respond to. I never knew I could be so engrossed in something else other than cross stitch ;o) LOL! Hopefully as we find our new rhythm, I'll get to steal a few minutes and post about our new adventure.

The Final Countdown

We're in the homestretch now! Seven more days until my actual due date but I want this over with NOW! Please, please, please! I really shouldn't complain since most of my pregnancy has been a good one but I think it's time for the hotel to close and for Junior to move out ;o)

Since my last post, we've had two appointments and Junior has passed his tests with flying colors. I think our boy is going to be an A-1 student ;o) We got an ultrasound picture of his sweet little face last Thursday but unfortunately due to my limitations, I haven't been able to scan it so I can't share it with you all :o( I guess that just means you'll have to wait for a real picture!

Last week the doctor did an exam and told us that I was dilated the thickness of a fingernail but that my cervix was very thin (good thing). Junior has also dropped into my pelvis and was in a -1 position. For those of you not familiar with this (we had to look it up), hopefully this picture will give you a better idea -

The doctor also stated that she won't let me go much over my due date. I'm not thrilled about being induced but I sure would like this over with. The anticipation is killing us! Our next appointment is tomorrow afternoon. We have our bags packed and they will be coming with us just in case. Fingers crossed we won't be coming home ;o)

I'm getting quite shack wacky though because I've officially given up driving. It seems that driving aggravates my chest pain (muscular skeletal), along with a lot of other things, so I'm pretty much a couch potato now. Let me tell you, there is a lot of crap on daytime TV! LOL! At least I can still stitch and that's been keeping my mind off of things. Of course I'm WAY behind on my Blog posts so you haven't seen what I've been up to. DH is just as frustrated as I am. We're both anxious to meet this sweet little boy :o)

Just a warning...if I drop out of contact, I'm either too tired to respond to emails or Junior has finally arrived. I'm not on the computer very much anymore so I'm very behind in emails and Blog reading, although I am trying to do a bit of both when I feel up to it. I'll try to keep everyone as updated as I can and as quickly as I can. Thank you for all the wonderful and supporting comments my friends :o)

Junior May Have Changed His Mind...

I'm a little late in updating you on our latest appointment but I've really been slowing down and therefore, only so many things get done every day. Sigh!

Another week and another appointment. I know it's not a very far drive to the Big City but it's getting old very quickly. I hope you don't mind the updates because they'll be coming weekly now ;o)

After waiting an hour and a half, DH and I finally got in for the ultrasound. Again, the technician was looking for the four markers from Junior and again, he passed with flying colors :o) Of course one of the markers is seeing him move but since we had been waiting so long to get in, Junior was done moving around and had decided it was nap time. Oye! Needless to say, more pounding on my belly with that ultrasound wand >:o(

I do have a few new tidbits to share with you though. The technician did a quick calculation and stated this is by no means 100% accurate but it looks like Junior is weighing around 6 pounds 4 ounces. Sounds good to me!

It also seems that Junior has changed positions... He is now on his side, with his back to my right and his arms and legs to my left. DH and I watched as this huge bulge came out my left side. I hope he decides to change back soon! I was much more comfortable with him the other way but I guess that doesn't mean anything to him ;o) LOL!

Our next appointment is this Friday. We're getting down to the wire and what are my thoughts? I'm ready...NOW! I want this over with! Don't get me wrong, I love Junior to death but I want my body back. I've been a hotel for too long :oP

Junior's Nursery Tour!

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to post pictures of Junior's room but in a way, it's been a nightmare (at the very beginning anyway)! LOL! We had problems with the crib, chair cushions and paint. In the end, I think it's all been worth it ;o)

I had a certain image in my mind of what I wanted and although it's not 100%, I'm quite happy with the final results. There are still a few things missing that would make the room complete but I know a lot of you have been 'patiently' waiting to see what we've done ;o)

As you enter the room, this is what you see -

This was DH's grandmother's chair and it was important to us that it be included in the room. Unfortunately the cushions didn't match so it was quite the journey to find replacement ones. I won't go into the whole story! Needless to say, we are very happy with the new look :o)

To the left of the chair is the changing table. We used DH's old desk that he had stained last summer -

The furniture doesn't all match but it's close enough for me and hey, it gives character.

Turn a little more to the left and there's Junior's new crib -

Do you know how hard it is to find reasonably priced crib sheets???? Oye! I'm on the search for a crib skirt as well but may have to resort to making one. And yes, the monkey blanket and stuffed monkey will be removed from the crib when Junior comes home. You're not allowed to have ANY-THING in the crib with the baby. Not even the bumper guard!

As we continue left you get to see the entry to the room and his dresser -

You can also see DH's wonderful paint job :o) Let me tell you, painting stripes is NOT easy, even with the proper tape! Junior's going to have to live with this color for awhile ;o) LOL!

One final turn and you see where the dresser and the closet are -

There's not much on the walls yet and we're still in search of a rug but you get the idea :o) So what do you think? To me it's a little boy's room. DH thinks the green should have been brighter but I disagree.

Wait! The tour's not over yet! I bet you'd like to see inside the closet ;o)

DH installed a closet organizer. Disregard my maternity clothes because they'll be gone as soon as I don't need them anymore! So where are all the clothes I was talking about? In his dresser!

I'm only showing you two drawers ;o) They are stuffed with pants and shirts that will take him up to about 6-9 months. Am I going to have fun dressing Junior or what! LOL! You just wait until you see our little clothes horse ;o)

Halloween Rules SAL - March Progress

I thought I had better post my progress before the month got away from me! I've had my block done for about a week now and here's what it looks like -

I still LOVE this piece and can't wait to stitch on it every month :o)

I know you've been anxiously waiting so stay tuned for my next post with pictures of Junior's nursery!