Ever since he was born, I've been singing this song to Junior whenever I put him down to sleep. He seems to like it. One night I really paid attention to the words and realized that "I'm" that spider! I keep getting beat down but eventually I get back up and try again. At least that's what it feels like lately...
I know I have kept you all in suspense as to what has been happening here lately but I was waiting to get more information before I gave you an update. By no means is this a simple case of cancer I'm afraid. It seems that I continue to be 'special'. I hate being special.
On May 30 I had the CAT Scan and the next day got the results. It seems there is a mass (5 cm) on one of my ovaries and it's presenting itself like cancer. Because of the cancer in the bone, they can't say if this is ovarian cancer or cancer that has metastasized from my breast cancer (2000). The bottom line...I will be having a complete hysterectomy to remove the tumor and the rest of my girlie goodies. Only after they have tested the tumor will they be able to tell us more. Right now it looks like there is a three week wait for the surgery. Sigh!
So here is where we stand right now...on June 7 we met with the Medical Oncologist in Halifax. The best case scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is benign. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus a drug to strengthen the bone. That would be it.
The second best scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is cancerous. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus the drug to strengthen the bone but also chemotherapy.
After that meeting I felt pretty good and quite positive. I love my doctor and feel that he will do whatever it takes to give me peace of mind. It was explained to us though that this is something that will never go away. We almost have to treat it like a chronic disease. I'll probably be monitored for the rest of my life but if that's what it takes so I can be here to see Junior grow up, then I'll take it!
If it were only that straight forward... The next day we met with the Gynecologist Oncologist regarding the mass on my ovary. As I said, it will have to come out and until then, we have no idea what we're dealing with. She couldn't even give me scenarios because there were so many. I guess the worst case would be that this is ovarian cancer. At what stage I'm at, they don't know. I haven't had any symptoms. They do know the tumor was not there on my November ultrasound.
So we wait. As it stands, we won't have any answers for at least five weeks. I've resigned myself that this is going to be a lengthy process but I refuse to let it eat up my life. I have a special little boy that I want to watch grow up and my focus will be on him and DH. This cancer is NOT going to take away something I have waited decades for. I finally have a purpose in life and I'm happy!
I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or sent me an email. All I can say is WOW! Your kindness and friendship are truly appreciated. I only wish I could tell you how much. I miss you all! I'm going to try and get back into the groove of things because I have so much to share and show you :o)