Saturday, June 09, 2012

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Ever since he was born, I've been singing this song to Junior whenever I put him down to sleep. He seems to like it. One night I really paid attention to the words and realized that "I'm" that spider! I keep getting beat down but eventually I get back up and try again. At least that's what it feels like lately...

I know I have kept you all in suspense as to what has been happening here lately but I was waiting to get more information before I gave you an update. By no means is this a simple case of cancer I'm afraid. It seems that I continue to be 'special'. I hate being special.

On May 30 I had the CAT Scan and the next day got the results. It seems there is a mass (5 cm) on one of my ovaries and it's presenting itself like cancer. Because of the cancer in the bone, they can't say if this is ovarian cancer or cancer that has metastasized from my breast cancer (2000). The bottom line...I will be having a complete hysterectomy to remove the tumor and the rest of my girlie goodies. Only after they have tested the tumor will they be able to tell us more. Right now it looks like there is a three week wait for the surgery. Sigh!

So here is where we stand right now...on June 7 we met with the Medical Oncologist in Halifax. The best case scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is benign. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus a drug to strengthen the bone. That would be it.

The second best scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is cancerous. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus the drug to strengthen the bone but also chemotherapy.

After that meeting I felt pretty good and quite positive. I love my doctor and feel that he will do whatever it takes to give me peace of mind. It was explained to us though that this is something that will never go away. We almost have to treat it like a chronic disease. I'll probably be monitored for the rest of my life but if that's what it takes so I can be here to see Junior grow up, then I'll take it!

If it were only that straight forward... The next day we met with the Gynecologist Oncologist regarding the mass on my ovary. As I said, it will have to come out and until then, we have no idea what we're dealing with. She couldn't even give me scenarios because there were so many. I guess the worst case would be that this is ovarian cancer. At what stage I'm at, they don't know. I haven't had any symptoms. They do know the tumor was not there on my November ultrasound.

So we wait. As it stands, we won't have any answers for at least five weeks. I've resigned myself that this is going to be a lengthy process but I refuse to let it eat up my life. I have a special little boy that I want to watch grow up and my focus will be on him and DH. This cancer is NOT going to take away something I have waited decades for. I finally have a purpose in life and I'm happy!

I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or sent me an email. All I can say is WOW! Your kindness and friendship are truly appreciated. I only wish I could tell you how much. I miss you all! I'm going to try and get back into the groove of things because I have so much to share and show you :o)
 

49 comments:

Kathy A. said...

Sending my love and heartfelt hugs. Please take very good care of yourself.

Gabi said...

Before I take off tomorrow for Canada I will send you my best wishes. I cross my fingers that everything will be good for you!
Have you in my prayers.
Hugs from Germany, Gabi

Rita said...

((((((Cathy)))))

I missed your previous post. I'm SO sorry to hear what you're going through now and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Chiloe said...

I'm sorry to read that my dear friend and I'm sending you lots of hugs. Life is so unfair . :(( I'll keep you in my prayers. ♥ ♥ ♥

Cath said...

Thanks for letting us know how you are . I have been thinking of you a lot. I will keep everything crossed over the next few weeks for you . Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes .XXX

Crazee4books said...

Hi Cathey,

Well, things sound a little more upbeat and positive
right now and thats a good thing. Will continue to
hold you and your family in my heart, thoughts and
prayers and continue to petition for the best case
scenarios.

Meanwhile I continue to admire your determination
to forge ahead ... but of course you've got so many
reasons to do so. Looking forward to sharing a
wee bit of your journey raising that awesome
little boy of yours. Many wonderful adventures
ahead for you all as new parents.

Take care and know we love you!!

Julie said...

My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family. Xxx

Vickie said...

You betcha you have a purpose in this life Cathey. God bless you and keep you in his care. Thank you so much for making the time to update all of us. So many of us are praying for all of you. You just do whatever needs to get done. Take care now. ♥

Parsley said...

You are so loved here in blogland. Take extra care and know we support you with prayers and positive thoughts.

Christina said...

I'm glad to read that you are staying positive.

I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

Irene said...

Thanks for the uppdate Cathey. I have always thought you were special :) just not that way. As the one not waiting, 3 weeks really is not that long. Junior must getting so big now, do you have a current photo to share ?

Stitchinowl said...

Cathey, Many hugs, love, and prayers coming your way. Try to stay positive and enjoy your precious baby boy. Please keep us updated when you can.
Carolyn

Marion said...

You know I'm sending major prayers and positive thoughts....and I will continue to do so...hey, you owe me lunch! LOL
Take care
Marion

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I will be standing right here with you in spirit and prayer and so will all my girls that are praying for you.

~*Sharee*~ said...

Bless you hun; I am keeping you in my prayers and if there is anything I can ever do to help please let me know; I know it's hard since I'm here and your there; but you never know. :)

Hugs, Shar

BARBARA said...

I have been following your blog and praying that positive outcomes are in your future......that beautiful baby boy deserves every precious moment with you for a lifetime!

Lynn said...

You haven't left my thoughts. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.
Hugs aplenty!

Chocolates4Breakfast (TerriBoog) said...

I think of you so often Cathy and keep you in prayer. I love your positive attitude! Keep it up and we'll keep up the prayers. Hugs to you, my friend.
XOXO

MoonBeam said...

I am so inspired by your strength and courage. I am so happy to hear of your good relationship with your doctor. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

You hang onto that great attitude...it is so important and beneficial.

Bobbi

Barbi said...

You bet that this is NOT going to get you!! You have soooooo much to live and fight for..and I know that you are not going to lose this battle no matter what the results of the test are.
Sending you lots of good thoughts and strength!

TammyK said...

Thanks so much for the update. There hasn't been a day that's gone by since I read your last post that I haven't thought about you. Sending cyber hugs your way friend. If theres any way I can be of help to you, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Terri said...

Hugs and prayers!!

Catherine said...

So glad to see an update from you...I will continue to send many good thoughts and prayers your way...

Daffycat said...

I'm wishing you peace of mind and lots of love. *hugs*

Mouse said...

sending ((((huge hugs)))) to you and I know you are in the best hands and you will fight this as you say you have a purpose and you are happy and that helps enormousely ;0
take care and squeak to you soon
and thank you for the card too :)
love mouse xxxxx

Tatkis said...

I believe in the best scenario!
Take care, dear friend!

Hugs,
Tatyana

Sharon said...

I love your positive attitude. God bless. Keeping you and your precious family in my prayers.

Patty C. said...

What a blessing that you have had your little one before needing the hysterectomy !!! As a nurse - I know many who weren't given that gift -

Praying for your strength in the journey & for your peace in the storm ;) It sounds like you are focusing on what's important -today's blessings & not tommorrow's woe's -hugs !

Karen said...

Will keep sending positive thoughts your way! Good thing you have that cute little bundle to occupy your time. :)

Chris said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!!

Renee said...

Sending prayers your way and big, healing hugs!!!!

WendyCarole said...

Sending you my love and I am thinking about you xx

Carol said...

Thinking of you more than you can imagine, Cathey. I'm filled with admiration at your bravery and determination. Sending every positive thought your way, my friend... (And a great big hug, too!)

Linda said...

I believe that HE is not ready for you to leave that adorable little man.

Linda

Christina said...

Thank you so much for sending the thank you note Cathey - it was so nice to receive something all of the way from Canada! :0)
I'm so pleased that you have a Dr you can trust. I bet that makes a huge difference. I'm praying for scenario one...and to make doubly sure, I've got everything crossed.
Junior is looking like such a little man. Why do they grow up so quick?! The first appt for injections is tough...not so much for the baby but for you! I'm not ashamed to admit that I was crying when we came out of the surgery! It's even worse when they're a year old and you have to hold them down. Isaac looked at me with his big blue eyes and they seemed to say 'but mummy, you're the one that's supposed to protect me?' Heartbreaking! See what you have to look forward to?! ;0)
Take care Cathey. I hope the next few weeks pass quickly for you. X

Valma said...

I really loved to read about your positive attitude sweetie
that sounds great
crabs don't like when we are happy , they escape then, they have no more to deal with us, they realise they can't fight with us
we are stronger and you'll be stronger, I'm sure
I'm always with you
big hugs from France
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Annie said...

Sending positive energy your way. Sounds like you have some medical professionals that you like and a cute little guy to keep you occupied.

Marjorie said...

Your little boy is adorable. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for you :)

Melanie said...

Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers!!!! *hugs*

Wendy said...

Sending healing prayers for you! You have the bestest reason in the world to fight to get better - and give your sweet little one a hug from me!

Annette said...

Wishing&sending you so many hugs and love...
What terrible all.
So glad you have a little boy to focus on, and your sweet DH... enjoy themm
I so hope it all goes away soon.. good luck

Veronica said...

Sending you all my love and will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and all the best! Give your darling boy a hug from me too :)

Hugs,
Veronica.

Angela said...

I can't believe this is happening to you (again). This is one crazy world that we live in......focus on your DH and your little Pumpkin and draw strength and courage from them and all of your online stitching friends. I am praying for one of the better case scenarios for you :) I can't believe how quickly that ovarian tumor seemed to grow! Since November??? The trouble with Ovarian cancer is it normally presents with no symptoms until it is in very advanced stages. That has to be a bit of good news....no symptoms :) You have had so much to deal with, it just doesn't seem fair.

I went for an ultrasound recently and a cyst was found on my ovary but it is the benign common type (2.5 cm) but they still have to watch it for growth.

I'm thinking of you Pumpkin...take care of yourself :)

Sharon said...

Cathey, I am going to think positive thoughts that you are going to have the best case scenario until told otherwise! You are in my thoughts and prayers! {{{hugs}}}

mdgtjulie said...

I will put you back on my prayer list, Pumpkin. Hopefully, you'll have a good outcome of this, and be around for many, MANY more years to love and laugh with your adorable boy. I wish you the best of luck with the surgery.

Lumiruusu said...

Greetings from Finland,here in the Northest part of Europe...
I promise that I will pray for you !
Your little boy is so sweet ! :)

valerie said...

Best of luck to you Cathey! I wish for the best scenario. So sorry that it is so complicated and a special case of cancer. But you seem to have a positive attitude and that will help you beat this! :)

Alberta said...

Love your fighting attitude and that this isn't going to steal any joy from motherhood and your loving husband and family.

Prayers going out to you, your family and your team of doctors!

Lili Bear said...

Thinking of you. A lot.
You are a survivor and a fighter. You will win this battle, and any other.
Praying for you and your husband and son. And your parents too.
Many hugs your way, fav Pumpkin.