Monday, May 28, 2012

Another Curve Ball

I know I have been MIA lately. I've received many emails wondering where I am and I apologize that I have not responded to anyone. You'd expect me to be living the good life; happy with my little man and relishing my new role as a mother. I certainly am but I've also been hiding another secret, this being an unhappy one. Now that I have confirmation, I want to update you all as to what is going on.

Do you remember back in my last months of pregnancy when I was complaining about my chest hurting and everyone came to the same conclusion that it must be muscular in nature? Well, that pain continued when we brought Junior home from the hospital. The first round of drugs that my doctor put me on did not work. When it got so bad that I could not even hold Junior, I went back to see him again. This time he put me on a narcotic and ordered some tests to eliminate alternate possibilities that would explain the pain.

While looking for one thing, they found something else...something that never even crossed our minds. During one of the scans, they found a 5 cm hole in my sternum (bone). The bone scan lit up a tiny corner of the hole, indicating that it could be cancer. Last week I went to Halifax and had a biopsy done. It was confirmed...it is cancer :o(

Now we don't have all the particulars and there is only so much information I can give at this time. From what I understand, this could be metastatic bone cancer, resulting from my breast cancer in 2000. Who would have thought that would come back to haunt me? As of today, I'm waiting for a CAT Scan and then we'll meet with an Oncologist in Halifax in about 2-3 weeks. As I have said before, the waiting is always the hardest part, especially when you don't know what you're dealing with and you have so many questions swirling around in your head.

To say that we're scared is an understatement. This was supposed to be a happy time in our lives. I finally found my purpose in life and now I'm terrified that it will be taken away from me. Every day I look at Junior and wonder if he'll have a mother as he grows up. I know I may be jumping the gun but I have to be open to that possibility. As soon as I know more, I'll post another update.

I want to thank everyone for their emails. I'm not sure when I'll get to answering any of them but I hope you will understand. I do want to let Christina, Marion, Valerie (France) and Jane know that I have received your packages and I will be in touch! I can't thank you enough :o) Mouse, nothing has arrived as of today :o(

I miss you all very much but this is a very emotional time here at the Pumpkin Patch and the most important thing is that I be with my family. I may have quite a busy road ahead of me so if I don't email you back, please know I will try but I cannot guarantee it. You had been so wonderful during my pregnancy and I can't tell you how much I appreciated it :o) All those words of support kept my spirits up. You guys are THE BEST!

80 comments:

Anne said...

Oooh my dear. My heart hurts reading this (and some tears). Just know that you are in my prayers and thoughts and that I hope that this is caught early on and you can get treatment right away. BIG HUGS

Julie said...

Will be praying for you Cathey.

Danielle said...

Pumpkin, so very sorry to hear of this! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope you are well and healthy soon!

Hillery said...

I am so sorry to hear about this Cathey. My prayers are with you and your family. Positive thoughts... you beat it once, you can do it again.

Chocolates4Breakfast (TerriBoog) said...

Oh , Cathy! I am stunned and deeply concerned. You and your family will be continually in my prayers. Sending hugs and prayers.

Catherine said...

Words can not begin to describe how this news hit me. My heart goes out to you and I wish I could offer you some great words of comfort. What I can offer, is many prayers and long distance hugs.

Patty C. said...

Take time to do whatever you need - we all understand! We are all still here with you- let me know if there is anything i can do for you -
You and your family are in my prayers!

MoonBeam said...

Oh, I can't tell you how sad reading this has made me. What a roller coaster of emotions you must have been experiencing. I will pray for you each and every day. Other than that, unfortunately I have no great words of wisdom for you.

Be strong. God bless. You've got a lot of people pulling for you.

Bobbi

Melissa said...

Pumpkin, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I had a cancer diagnosis with 3 kids who were all under the age of 10, so I definitely understand how you are feeling. I hope that you will feel comfort in your family, friends, and faith during this time.

April said...

I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

Cole said...

Oh dear friend, I'm so, so very sorry. I'm sending positive thoughts & prayers your way for you, your DH and Junior and a great big hug too. Don't worry about us, we'll be right here for you when you need us. I wish there was more I could do than type a few words... xxoo

Carol said...

My heart is breaking for you, Cathey... Words can't express how shocked and saddened I was to read your news. Please know you are constantly in my thoughts and I'm always hear to listen and support you. Sending the biggest hug and a heart full of hope, my sweet friend...

KaLu - Claudia said...

=( thats very sad news, but you know youll be in my thoughts and prayers and I trust that everything will be ok and it wont be anything serious like you say just another curve ball

lots of hugs to you ♥

Jeanne said...

What awful and devastating news...I am so sorry for you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers. God bless you.

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Sweetheart, worry only about your precious little family and beating this evil monster. I will keep you in my prayers and I will be adding your needs to my prayer group. You are loved and may you feel that love.

Kathy A. said...

Oh dear girl. I am so very sorry. Please know I am praying and crossing all my fingers and toys. Sending hugs!

Gabi said...

What terrible news. You must feel awful. I'm at a loss for words right now. Just want you to know that I will pray for you and your family. Life isn't fair at times :(

Vinniey said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this bad news, Pumpkin. Stay strong and fight strong,Pumpkin, for yourself and family. And I hope the treatment in the future going well. {{{Hugs}}}

Sharon said...

Cathey, {{{{hugs}}}}, I will be praying!

Harmien said...

I cannot imagine the whirlwind of emotions that must be a constant in your life at present... I hope the little fella is a constant source of endless cuddles and comfort for you both. Wishing you strength during the wait and nothing but good news after that! Thinking of you!

Rowyn said...

Wishing you all the very best at this uncertain time Cathey. My fingers and toes are tightly crossed for you and your new family. Sending hugs your way.

Janine said...

Keeping you in my thoughts. Shocking news I agree. I am so happy the your little man arrived safely.

Loving thoughts to you all

Gabi said...

Oh my God, I am so sad to read about what happened to you.
I cross my fingers and keep you in my prayers that everything will turn out good.
Hugs from Germany

Stitching Noni said...

OMG.... I do not know what to say! I can only begin to imagine how scared you all are and what is going on in your imagination! To have news like this when as you say it should be a happy time must be devasting... but you must try and think positive thoughts. Dwell not on what might be but concentrate all the power of your mind into being well and being with your darling boy as he grows up, gets a job, meets a girl, gets married and has children of his own!
I know that words at the moment probably don't really help... but please know that I am thinking of you and will pray for you and send you all the positive, happy thoughts I can.
And don't worry about us --- just think about yourself and your loved ones! The road that you will be travelling will be hard enough without the extra worry of us!!! :o)
If I was closer to you I would give you a big hug but as I am many thousands of miles away I can only send you virutal hugs {{ }}
Take care.... and I hope that the news gets better.
Hugs, Noni xx

Irene said...

OMG I don't know what to say. I figured you were busy with the little man and just didn't have time to blog. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how you are when you can.

Mouse said...

((((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))) I am here for you .... if you want an ear to bend, email me ok .....
fingers and paws crossed that things are better than you think and I hope the postie comes soon for you :)
love mouse xxxxx

Veronica said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that, Cathey. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Keep strong and take care!

Hugs,
Veronica.

Cath said...

I don't know what to say , only that I'm thinking of you , and hoping for good news .
Take care and update when you can.
Sending lots of love and hugs. XXX

Daffycat said...

Oh God, Cathey. I am so scared for you...I can not even IMAGINE how you must be feeling. I am so shocked I can't even think what to say.

Big hugs.

Valma said...

Ho my !!!
having no news from you for a while I thought you were a busy Mum and only enjoying Junior
I don't have words , there are no words, except I want you to be positive.
There's a long road ahead indeed =(
But sure you'll post pictures yourself of Junior when he 'll be graduated
I'm so sorry sweetie =(
I can't do anything and that makes me angry
I can just send you big warms hugs from where I'm and be sure I'm thinking of you, I send you positive waves, with all my heart
you have friends all over the world who will have thoughts and prayers for you
with all my love
Valérie

♥ Nia said...

Hello again sweetie! I wrote back an email but don't worry about replying, I understand. I will keep sending you messages just to say hi, send some love and hugs =) Also don't worry about replying to those ;)
I do believe that you'll have the strength to overcome this, there's another victory waiting for you!
Faith&Hope&lots of love to you!!!

Chris said...

Thinking of you and your family and sending prayers your way.

Julie said...

Well, never in a million years did i expect to open up your blog and read this news Cathey.
My heart goes out to you and your family at this worrying time.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you for some good news from the tests and hope for a bright future with your new little man.
much love and (big squishy hug) x

Annie said...

I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you.

Sally said...

Oh Cathey I am so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you {{{{hugs}}}}

Vickie said...

Oh dear God! Cathey, I can't even say all that needs to be said. I have prayed for you, after I cried for you. I will keep you all in my prayers. Be well. Do what needs to be done. Hold your little one and husband close. ♥

CalamityJr said...

I'll be praying for you and your family. Please keep us posted as you're able - otherwise, don't worry about us at all. We'll be here when you're ready!

Gert said...

I am so...so sorry to hear this news..PLEASE know you are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Blessings,
Gert

Christina said...

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

Kate said...

My heart breaks for you. Be strong and expect the best.

Parsley said...

You have been on my mind and I had thought maybe you were just busy with baby....

Oh Pumpkin...my heart is so heavy. I don't even have words but you are in my prayers. Know you are supported by the many prayers we will all send up for you. HUGS

katiem said...

What a rough thing to pop back into your life so soon after bringing Junior home.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Natasha said...

Awww sweetie, My thoughts and prayers go out to right now. I can only imagine what you are going through. I can not say anything to make you feel better only to keep looking at that sweet baby of yours and keep telling him everyday that you are going to be in his life ... Sending you the warmest of ((HUGS))

capecodgirl565 said...

I cannot imagine what a scary time this is for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Try to stay strong, I know, easier said than done. Best wishes to you.

Marjorie said...

I am so, so sorry you are going through this right now. I will be sending up prayers and hoping for the best. Wish I could do more.

Jenn's Crafty World said...

Prayers to you and your family. Honestly, truly, I wish you all the best.
Jenn

milly said...

I've never posted on your blog before but I'm so sorry to hear your news and just wanted to say you will be in my thoughts.

Ranae said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Just remember to stay strong, don't you dare let anything or anyone take the good life away from you
Take care!!!

Christine said...

Many good thoughts coming your way. ((Hugs))

Lisa said...

OMG Pumpkin. Sending you (((hugs))) & lots of positive vibes across the sea. Stay strong xx xx

Carolyn said...

Cathey-words can not express how sad I am to hear this..my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family..

Karen said...

Hugs being sent your way. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers hoping for a good outcome!

Lynn said...

Oh Cathey, my heart goes out to you at this difficult time. I can only imagine how frightened you are but try to take it one day at a time. I know, easy for me to say, right? Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and we will always be here for you. I understand your need to be with your family at this time and will be waiting when you return.
Sending lots of hugs your way.

Cindy said...

Cathey,

I have missed your posts, but assumed that you were caught up with all of the changes that a new bundle of joy can bring. It was a shock and very sad to read this update. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through right now. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

mdgtjulie said...

Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear it, Pumpkin. I hope the results are good, and that you are successful at beating the wolf back from the door again. Best of luck to you, and I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Renee said...

I am so deeply sorry that you are having to fight cancer again. My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for you to get answers quickly. I'm so sad you are dealing with this. HUGS sweetie!

Katie said...

Fingers crossed for some positive news out of this weeks tests.

Being in medical limbo is for lack of better words, hell, when all you can think of is hitting the ground running.

The Oakland Farm zoo (Aylesford) is open for the season, it would be a nice distraction for you and pumpkin Jr. :)

Terri said...

Hugs and prayers!!!

Rachael G said...

Oh my, oh I am sending positive thoughts your way. ((Gentle hugs))

Jennifer said...

My heart is breaking for you and I am sending you hope and strength and love. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

For Me said...

I am so sorry....You will be in my prayers
~~Gayle~~

Teresa said...

Lots and lots of prayers are coming your way.
Teresa's Heartfelt Stitches

Alberta said...

This just isn't fair! You beat this beast once, I know with your loving family around you and friends from the electronic world, you have so many positive vibes going your way.

{{{Hugs}}} and all my prayers as you journey this path once again.

zoomcity said...

{{{{{{{Cathey}}}}}}}

All the best to you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

diamondc said...

Dearest Pumpkin: My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your Family, we will have to say a Rosary for your healing.
Blessings sent your way.
Catherine

Mary Ann said...

Dear Cathey, I read your post a few days ago, and it brought tears to my eyes. I knew that I did not have the right words to say, and I know that I still don't, but I want you to know that even though we really do not know each other, I feel like we are friends. You have been in my thoughts and prayers since I read your post, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
(((hugs and prayers)))

Shari said...

oh no..........I read about the baby first, so didn't see this...I am so sorry to hear this......I will add you to my prayer list for sure...please know we will be praying...

Annette said...

Ow no.. what do I read..
terrible..
I wish you many strenght.
Enjoy every day.
And I will keep my fingers scrossed, that it's treatabel.
Thinking of you!!

Crazee4books said...

Cathey,

It's been so long since I've commented. I'm sorry about that. I've been so elated with joy for you and your DH since learning your were to become a mother. Your darling son is a blessing and a total sweetie. But now I read this latest news and I had to write. I want you to know that I am praying hard for you and holding you in my thoughts. I know that I am only one of the many who read your blog and love you and will stand with you no matter what lies ahead. You mean a lot to us and we will be here for you. Take care and look after yourself and your son and your DH. Hang in there!!

Hugs!! Judy

And This Little Pig said...

I don't know what to write, but your my dear are one tough little pumpkin. Just know you are in my thoughts, hubby and Junior. We all care.
LiBBiE in Oz

Tatkis said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Hugs,
Tatyana

Stitchinowl said...

Cathey, Continuing prayers and good thoughts for you. Please give updates when you can.
Hugs,
Carolyn

TammyK said...

I'm sorry Cathey for this news. I will be praying for you. Hang in there, you beat this thing once and I know you can again. Any way I can be of help to you please let me know dear friend.

Nancy said...

Just know that our thoughts are with you and your family. We are all hoping for the best!!

valerie said...

So sorry to hear this news. Best wishes and thoughts on your current fight with cancer. There are a lot of people rallying for you in the blogosphere.

Carolyn Nye said...

Cathey,
I have not been around on my blog. I just haven't felt like stitching. I have been doing other things to occupy myself.

I am really sorry to hear of this news. Please, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I pray that the results will be what you need to hear at this time.

Awww.....(((Hugs)))...You are a strong women and don't forget it....

Aussie Stitcher said...

I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news. I don`t know what to say, other than take care, and try to stay positive. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Lili Bear said...

Oh Fav Pumpkin. :(
Many prayers and good wishes sent your way. Joined with those of your friends all around the globe, they will work.
Many hugs.

Dani - tkdchick said...

I am soooo sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I wish you the best case scenario!

Rachel S-H said...

I just saw this, and I am sending you good thoughts and prayers.