Monday, November 16, 2009

Give Me A P!

P!

Give me an O!

O!

Give me an O!

O!

Give me a P!

P!

What does that spell? Poop! :o) So where is it? I don't know >:o(

That's right; I am c-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-e-d. Nice of me to share this with you huh?

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Okay, it's been a week. It's driving me insane! A big belly full of poo and it won't come out. I've tried all of the things I can think of. I even went to McDonald's.... Shhhhh! Nope, no go, not even with all that rotten, greasy food in my stomach. Yesterday I finally broke down and told DH I was going to the grocery store to get some laxatives. Since we needed a few other things, I figured at least it wouldn't look so bad. Right? HA!

We arrive home and I start to unload the groceries, desperate to get to my Ex-Lax so I can get the balls of poop rolling. Bag one is empty. I empty bag two...no box of laxatives >:o( The ONE thing I went in town for and the gd cashier didn't even put it in the bag! I was NOT happy. So, at 4:50pm, with only ten minutes to spare, I quickly drive back in to retrieve my salvation.

The cashier is still at her station and I explain with a hushed voice that she forgot to put my Ex-Lax in the bag. "Oh, it's at the Customer Service Desk." No apology, no NOTHING! I get to the Customer Service Desk and guess what? There are THREE employees standing there talking and I have to ask for my box of laxatives. What fun! Sigh! Why me?

It says it takes 6 to 12 hours to take effect. Well, it's been well over 12 and nothing. Nada. Zilch. I guess that means dose number two. That will have to wait until I get back from town though...just in case. I don't want to be too far from home if you know what I mean ;o)


29 comments:

Parsley said...

Phillips Milk of Magnesia. Take it and within an hour you'll begin feeling better without cramping. Drink lots of water and stay home near the toilet.

Then...Phillips Colon Health probiotics daily.

Parsley said...

The Milk of Mag. liquid by the way. Over the counter at walmart.

JOLENE said...

How frustrating!!! I am so sorry. I have a thought for you though, next time try some Chocolate Smooth Move, an herbal stimulant laxative by Traditional Medicinals, It is an herbal tea that tastes pretty good. The key ingredient is senna leaf and it works great!!!

Shannon said...

ooo, I could write you pages of suggestions as to how to get the ol' system working. Somedays I think I'll get my doctorate in bodily functions. I seem to have more people ask me advice about that than engineering !

I know the agony, I'm afraid. Hopefully things get moving soon !

Lori-Ann said...

oh POOP!! or not, LOL... good luck!

Annie said...

Who else would share this story with her readers! Hope you get some relief soon.

Courtney said...

try some Benefiber!

Rachel S said...

I hope you feel better soon.

jayne@~an eye for threads~ said...

Well, that got attention, and I am sure every one has a resolution for you. However,,, you know, good things come to those who wait... lol. Hope it comes out ok. Sorry I just couldn't resist. Well, at least being close to home means close to the stash and you can be always in stitches...

WendyCarole said...

DH will sympathize he has that trouble on occasions.

Hope you get rid soon

Rachael said...

Oh dear, you could say you are full of S**t...LMAO Sorry couldn't resist. Have you tried Diabetic chocolate that has a laxative effect whilst you are having a chocolate fix :0)oh and exercise will shift it!

Patti said...

I think I have that problem right now. All I know is that my stomach really hurts and I don't think it's my gallbladder either because it is on the left side of my stomach.

I do hope yours gets better real fast.
lots of Love
Patti xxx

Irene said...

The discomfort you must be feeling, ouch ! Almond butter and grain bread.

Blu said...

I have no suggestions, but am amazed that the solutions that exist out there.
Hope you feel better soon.

mumzy said...

Oh dear, you do have a problem. Hopefully, You have found the solution by now.

{{{Hugs and Love}}}

Suzanne said...

I just want to say that we are too damn young to devote this much time and space to bowel functions...LOL

Hope you feel better.

Laural said...

Phillips Milk of Magnesia!! I hope that by now you have had some relief though.

Siobhan said...

My first thought was, "Oh, sh-t!". LOL I know, not so funny. Hope things are flowing properly now.

Alberta said...

Oh My, what can I say except I do hope that today things are moving along nicely.

Have you figured out why you got into this situation? For me, calcium tabs will do it and I've had to up my fiber and drink lots of water.

Robin said...

oh my...I am so sorry for you....this is a very miserable feeling. If you don't finally "go", get yourself to the doctor. You could have an impaction and no amount of laxatives will cure that! it's dangerous!

Ranae said...

Are you eating???? maybe there's nothing there, lol
I hate when the plumbing backs up, it doesn't do anything for being a happy camper, that's for sure

Jenna said...

Ouch! Sorry to hear that you are having problems. That really sucks. I hope you get some relief soon!!!

~Tammy said...

That is nasty!

What about coffee. If I drink too much I'm never far from a bathroom.

Good luck!

Sharon said...

I always tell my patients to increase water, drink hot liquids-coffee, tea or hot chocolate. Try something warm on your tummy after taking the laxative. Applesauce, warm oatmeal.warm prune juice~any of those. Go for a long walk-that may help get things moving!

Faith Ann said...

Oh my... hope that problem has resolved itself by now!!

Daffycat said...

Bill Cosby style...Push it out! Shove it out! Waaaay out!

Poor girl. I hope the Ex-Lax works soon.

Angela P said...

Oh no, I've been there and not so long ago either. I take Metamucil everyday and that works like a charm but it can take 48-72 hours to work. All the advice above is good too :)

Karen said...

I only have to look at a cheery and that sort of problem is sorted out lol guess you looked like you had cherry cheeks having to ask for your packet

♥ Nia said...

LOL!!! :D
Now I know you're felling better ;)