Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yup, literally!

DH, Junior and I went down to Lunenburg on Saturday and I was all spiffed up; looking good with my new bob hairstyle and feeling great because the swelling had been keeping itself down for almost a week. There was hair coming out when I styled it that morning but not enough to panic over and the stuff remaining on my head was pretty solid.

Come Sunday, the dam let loose! I was noticing lots of hair here and there so I went to the bathroom tub to shake it out. One graze of my hand brought out a small handful of brown, and then another, and another. So much had come out that I looked like someone had stuck a hair piece on the top of my balding head! It just kept coming and coming so finally I just told DH to buzz it. It was time...

Okay, I 'thought' I was prepared for it but when I took one look at myself in the mirror after DH was finished, my heart just sank :o( The only way I can describe it is that I looked like an old sick woman. The top of my head still had about a half an inch of hair but the back and the sides where all patchy. Why couldn't I just go straight to the bald point? Would it make it any better? I don't know. Sigh!

Now I sport a hat around the house. I have yet to face the world... I look tired, sad and deflated. My self esteem has taken a HUGE beating, which will certainly affect my confidence. My little boy looks at me and laughs because he thinks Mommy is clowning around with things on her head. If he only knew the truth.

And it hurts. Yes, losing your hair like this does hurt and I'm not sure why. Have you even woken up from a good sleep and had your hair messed up the wrong way so that it's very tender to touch? That's exactly what it feels like, but all over. Well...where I have hair left that is ;o)

I haven't cried yet. I haven't really had much of a reaction at all and that worries me. I feel like someone has driven over me with a truck but that might be from all the walking I did on Saturday. But maybe not. I think this has taken quite a toll on me mentally. I just don't know how to react. I thought for sure I would cry but what I feel is more like numbness.

If you look at the positive side of things (and I believe you have to in order to make it through something like this), my showers will be A LOT faster! LOL! No more shampoo, conditioner, brushes, hair dryers, flat irons, hairspray, elastics, haircuts...I could go on :o) What a weird feeling.

I also get to wear hats and lots of them! So far I have about half a dozen. I'm trying to track down a pumpkin hat and something a little outrageous. Hell, I might as well have fun with this while I can! I have to have the ability to laugh at myself otherwise the seriousness of our situation would kill me.

We meet with the Oncologist on Wednesday and as long as my blood work comes back okay, I'll have my second chemo treatment on Thursday. I doubt I'll have any news for you. He wants me to have at least 2-3 treatments before they do another scan. We can only continue to hope that this all works. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me or have kept me in your thoughts. There's definitely enough of you so maybe the cancer will be scared away ;o)

 

Finishes Seven & Eight For 2012

Continuing on with my finishes from last year, here are two more to share with you :o)

Finish seven is called Flower Motif Pin Kit by La-D-Da -

I received this kit in a grab bag that I ordered from Stitches N Things. It came with everything so that's what I used; 35 count linen and Dinky Dyes silk. I'm not crazy about it. If I remember correctly, I just wanted something quick to do. LOL! If anyone is interested in the pattern, I'll be more than happy to pass it along. Just let me know in your comment (please include a way to get a hold of you) and if there is more than one person that wants it, I'll put the names in a hat :o)

Finish eight is a favorite of mine and one I've had on my To Do List for y-e-a-r-s! It's by The Cricket Collection and it's called Shepherd Bunny -

Now you understand why ;o) This little girl (at least I think she is) was stitched on 28 count Mint Green linen with the suggested threads. The camera really didn't take a great picture; the color of the fabric is a bit off.

Again, thank you for all your great comments! I'm only halfway through my 2012 Finishes list so there's more to come :o)

 

Finishes Five & Six For 2012

I've got a few moments while Junior is passed out in his crib. The kid is exhausted! From the sounds of it last night, I thought he was having a party in his room. Maybe he was... LOL!

I thought I should start posting pictures of my finishes from last year before 2014 rolled around ;o) I have lots to show you as it seems I was very bad at keeping up with my show & tell.

Finish five is called Quilt Patch Heart by Handblessings -

This was a freebie and I stitched it last February when I was in my Valentine's Day kick :o) Unfortunately it has not been made into a pillow as I was hoping but maybe someday soon. I changed the colors on this one but I can't remember to what. D'oh! I know I used DMC. HA!

Finish six is by The MonkeyWorks and it's called Be My Sweet Heart -

I used the colors that were called for and at first I thought they were horrible! That was until I found some fabric that was a perfect match. Again, my intentions were to sew this into a little pillow... I stitched this one on 36 count linen.

Sorry the pictures are so bad! We finally had some snow last night and it's overcast today. I hope you've enjoyed seeing some of my stitching and I promise I'll be back soon with some more :o)

 

Goodbye My Locks

Sigh...this is going to be another hard post for me to write but I thought you should be aware what is going on around here at the Pumpkin Patch.

I know my last update was kind of positive even though I was quite tired. Unfortunately, the further we got into December, the worse things got :o( Yes, I did finish my Cycle 2 even though I was quite ill the very last day of my treatment. Yes, we did go back to NB for the Christmas holidays and it was great! It will be listed as one of the best Christmases in my books :o)

But on Boxing Day evening I found myself in the Saint John hospital getting another stint put in, this time on my left side. This was THE worst hospital experience I've ever had! DH and I only got to talk to the doctor before the surgery and we were told that the tube was inflamed and not blocked. Other than that, we have no idea what he saw when he put the stint in. I was discharged without consultation >:o( And my doctors here STILL don't have that report!

It seems that my cancer does not like me at the moment because it was not responding well with the first Chemo treatment like we had thought. Towards the middle of December it started attacking my lymphatic system, causing fluid to build up in my groin area and my right thigh. This makes things very uncomfortable and debilitating unless I stay off my feet but how easy is that with a nine month old????

Like that wasn't enough, around the same time I developed Inflammatory Breast Cancer :o( It started on my left breast and has spread across my chest even though Righty is just an implant. Apparently there is still 'some' breast tissue left on that side. I thought I had written about IBC on my Blog years ago but I cannot find the post. For me, it started innocently enough with a bruise-like appearance on the underside of my left breast but it quickly developed into a red rash. But the real telltale sign of IBC is when the skin turns to an orange peel appearance and feel. It's very tender and sore and unfortunately there is nothing they can do about it. My only hope is that the Chemo will work and the inflammation will go down with time.

Speaking of Chemo, since my first one didn't work I am now on a new one that I have to get by IV every three weeks. It only takes about a half an hour to administer and I can get it the same time I get my Pamidronate so there are no extra trips to the 'little city'. The only unfortunate part is that I will lose my hair :o( Sniff! I love my hair but I am preparing myself. I'm getting it cut shorter on Wednesday so hopefully when it does come out; it won't be as much of a shock. DH has already bought me three hats for my wardrobe :o)

Needless to say, my spirits have been quite low. I mean, how much more can one person take???? But I won't be beaten and I'm ready to fight again. If only this Chemo would work and take away some of the symptoms, I would be SO happy! I'm tired of the pain and the fact that it's taking even more time away from doing things with Junior. 

I hate the fact that my Blog has become such an unhappy place :o( I have considered closing it down but I love Blogging and I love keeping in touch with my Blogging friends. I'll keep it going for now. I'm doing a bit more stitching so if I can just get some time to take some pictures, maybe I can get this Blog back on track.  I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through this adventure :o)

 

We Begin With The Good :o)

Since I have both good news and bad news to tell you, I thought I had better start out with the good. Seems much better than way; to me anyway :o)

As you may have guessed, it's that time of month again! Yes, Junior is another month older and yesterday he turned NINE months old :o)

LOL! It didn't take much to get a good picture this time. He's really getting used to the camera.

Our little man is so full of his own personality now and he's such a happy guy. He's not walking yet but his legs continue to get stronger and steadier every day. He's definitely mastered his crawling though because it doesn't take him long to get from room to room, especially if I'm opening the freezer door. Yeah, I don't know why :oS

DH and I are still expanding his food pallet but for some reason, he cannot eat straight banana. Ask Grandma ;o) Junior has one awesome gag reflex. We figure it must be the texture because he'll eat banana if we disguise it. We're still trying to get him used to solid food like Cheerios or his biscuit cookies. But if he's left with them too long, the gag reflex kicks in and then DH and I are forced to be the cleanup crew. Ewwww! Thankfully my gag reflex has gotten better over the years. LOL!

The fact that he gags doesn't interfere with his chewing, that's for sure. DH keeps saying that out of all the pets we've had in the past, none of them chewed as much as Junior does! Skin, clothes, furniture, wood, they're all free game to him. He still only has six teeth but that's enough at this point. I'm almost to the point where I want to give him some rawhide to chew on ;o)

I can happily say that Junior has learned how to clap now. It was a problem for DH because Junior was behind the other children his age in what he could do. Yes, the man is a bit competitive ;o)

 

Congratulations To...

The winner of the $100 gift certificate from Anita's Little Stitches goes to -

CATH of The Stitchin' Chicken!!!!

I hope you enjoy shopping Cath and have fun going through all that new stash. Don't forget to share a picture or two of what you bought ;o)

I want to thank everyone who left their name for the giveaway. Again, I wish I could send something out to each of you. Keep your eyes out for more fun in the future :o)