Could It Be?

Being away from stitching for awhile has kind of put me in the dark. I miss my routine of surfing the web. Lately I've been checking out my favourite haunts to see the latest designs and besides the special JCS magazine issues, nothing has really taken my fancy. That was until the other day...

Can you say O-M-G???? Those are the exact words that came out of my mouth when I spotted this new release -

Halloweenies by Plum Street Samplers. A wonderful combination of Halloween and Doxies :o) What could be better? Well, maybe chocolate and peanut butter but we're not talking food here. LOL!

As you can imagine, that little 'puppy' got ordered up pretty fast! I think they will look fantastic with Boris and Sergei :o)

Bouncing Back

Boun-cy, boun-cy, boun-cy!

Hi everyone! It's been a week since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good :o) I got home on Saturday afternoon and since then, each day gets a bit easier. I have a nice vertical five inch scar below my belly button. I just figure it adds to all the ones I already have.

The surgery went well and my doctor was excellent. Those are the only two good things about this experience... Thankfully my hospital stay was short because I don't think I would have lasted much longer. I originally had a private room but was quickly moved to a three person ward :o( Not happy considering we pay full coverage.

My cell mates included a nun (very nice lady) and the most ignorant, demanding person I have ever met. She was so rude to the doctors and nurses. I would have been much happier if she was the one that had taken my private room! I'm sure the nun would have agreed with me too ;o)

We're still waiting to hear the pathology report but we were told it would probably be after the holiday. Unfortunately we already know that the tumor was malignant :o( So until then, we wait to see which path I will be taking next.

I think the most difficult thing is that I am limited in what I can do with Junior :o( I hope that soon I can at least hold him but I know it will be at least 6-8 weeks before I can pick him up. It's so hard watching others interacting with him this way but I am very grateful that we've had all this help.

Again, I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or emailed me. I'm very lucky to have as many wonderful friends as I do :o)

The Time Has Come...

I have some big news to share with everyone. On Wednesday, June 20, I am going in for my hysterectomy. Thankfully I got an appointment in less than three weeks so hopefully all this waiting will be over quicker than we expected. In a way I don't want it to happen so fast because I'm afraid what the outcome will be but on the other hand, I want it done and over with so that I can just get on with my life.

My surgeon is supposed to be excellent from what I've read and heard. She performed my neighbours' hysterectomy and my neighbour raved about her. That makes me feel good but I'm still very nervous about the whole thing. Since my breast cancer, I've avoided hospitals whenever necessary. Let's just say that my anxiety is a tad high right now. But...I keep telling myself that I gave birth to an 8 lb 10 oz baby, so this should be a breeze...right?

Last week I got some good news (on my birthday no less) :o) I had a blood test done awhile back that can indicate whether you have ovarian cancer or not. Unfortunately it's not 100% accurate but at least it gives us some idea. Anyway, the levels came back low so that's good. Again, that doesn't rule out ovarian cancer completely but it's A LOT better than if the levels came back high. Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow will be spent getting organized for my trip. I'll be in Halifax while DH travels back and forth. The poor man will be torn between me and Junior. Junior will be home with both sets of parents looking after him so I feel very good about that. Still, it will be hard to leave him :o( They tell me I'll be in the hospital from 3-5 days but I suspect I'll be in there for the full five.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for their wonderful comments full of friendship and support. I can't even begin to tell you how much they mean to me. I have tried to email everyone that has left a comment but I haven't been able to finish yet and there were some people that didn't have an email address. My belief is, you took the time to leave a comment, so the least I can do is reply back :o)

So I will be away from the computer for at least a week, maybe longer. When I get the chance, I will update you again as to where we are. Until then, hugs to you my friends :o)

The Little Man

He turned two months old today! It's so hard to believe.

Tomorrow he goes for his first set of shots. Should be an interesting appointment. I just hope it won't be too hard on Junior :o( Over a week ago he weighed in at 11 lbs 5 oz and was 24 inches long. I suspect when he's checked tomorrow, he'll be well over 12 lbs and he may have stretched a few more inches :o)

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Ever since he was born, I've been singing this song to Junior whenever I put him down to sleep. He seems to like it. One night I really paid attention to the words and realized that "I'm" that spider! I keep getting beat down but eventually I get back up and try again. At least that's what it feels like lately...

I know I have kept you all in suspense as to what has been happening here lately but I was waiting to get more information before I gave you an update. By no means is this a simple case of cancer I'm afraid. It seems that I continue to be 'special'. I hate being special.

On May 30 I had the CAT Scan and the next day got the results. It seems there is a mass (5 cm) on one of my ovaries and it's presenting itself like cancer. Because of the cancer in the bone, they can't say if this is ovarian cancer or cancer that has metastasized from my breast cancer (2000). The bottom line...I will be having a complete hysterectomy to remove the tumor and the rest of my girlie goodies. Only after they have tested the tumor will they be able to tell us more. Right now it looks like there is a three week wait for the surgery. Sigh!

So here is where we stand right now...on June 7 we met with the Medical Oncologist in Halifax. The best case scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is benign. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus a drug to strengthen the bone. That would be it.

The second best scenario is that the cancer in the bone has metastasized from the original breast cancer and that the tumor on the ovary is cancerous. I would require Tamoxifen again, plus the drug to strengthen the bone but also chemotherapy.

After that meeting I felt pretty good and quite positive. I love my doctor and feel that he will do whatever it takes to give me peace of mind. It was explained to us though that this is something that will never go away. We almost have to treat it like a chronic disease. I'll probably be monitored for the rest of my life but if that's what it takes so I can be here to see Junior grow up, then I'll take it!

If it were only that straight forward... The next day we met with the Gynecologist Oncologist regarding the mass on my ovary. As I said, it will have to come out and until then, we have no idea what we're dealing with. She couldn't even give me scenarios because there were so many. I guess the worst case would be that this is ovarian cancer. At what stage I'm at, they don't know. I haven't had any symptoms. They do know the tumor was not there on my November ultrasound.

So we wait. As it stands, we won't have any answers for at least five weeks. I've resigned myself that this is going to be a lengthy process but I refuse to let it eat up my life. I have a special little boy that I want to watch grow up and my focus will be on him and DH. This cancer is NOT going to take away something I have waited decades for. I finally have a purpose in life and I'm happy!

I want to thank everyone who has left a comment or sent me an email. All I can say is WOW! Your kindness and friendship are truly appreciated. I only wish I could tell you how much. I miss you all! I'm going to try and get back into the groove of things because I have so much to share and show you :o)