Where Or Where Has Pumpkin Been?

I know I promised you an update awhile back and I apologize it's taken me this long to do so. When I 'do' get computer time, I'm either answering emails (only a few), updating my Blog (rarely), checking in on other Blogs (not a lot) or keeping up to date as to what's going on in the cross stitching world. Hey, at least I still have that craving from time to time ;o)

Four weeks ago I ended up sick after my Chemo treatment (I think it was a bug) and it took a HUGE chunk out of me. My mood drastically darkened because of this and I had a hard time digging myself out of that hole. When Junior's birthday rolled around, it was like "I've been living with this crap for a year now! When will it ever end?" The last thing I want to do is think about cancer on my son's big day. Another reason to hate this disease so much >:o(

I had hinted in a post awhile ago that I had some positive news and I do! Back in February I had a new CT Scan and when they compared it to the ones I had in October and December, it showed that my tumors had either disappeared or shrunk in size :o) This was super news but it was darkened by 'another' setback...

Since January, I had been developing these lumps on my skin around my left breast. I had a biopsy done and it was concluded that they were cancerous. D'uh! I knew that. What they didn't do was examine to see if they were the same kind of cancer we're dealing with or if it's something new. Whatever the outcome, the lumps didn't seem to be responding to the Chemo and kept spreading and growing larger :o(

We met with my Oncologist and he felt that because the tumors on the inside were responding well to this Chemo that we would continue on with it. That means it is a wait and see game with the lumps on my skin. They are very painful and I have one that is quite large to the side of my breast. This coming week I'll get that sucker radiated so hopefully that will help. DH and I have noticed that some of the lumps have shrunken and they haven't spread in the past month so we're hoping that's good news.

Also this coming week, I'm going to have a new CT Scan. We're hoping things will look even better and then maybe we'll get an end date for my Chemo. That would be so nice! Even though I seem to be tolerating it pretty well, I'm SO tired! I sleep a lot. I could sleep even more but I don't want life just passing me by.

Every day it seems like I'm living on a fine line; one where I have to balance things just right or else everything just comes tumbling down on me. Yes, I am getting tired of this whole thing; mentally AND physically. I want cancer out of my life. I know it won't be gone completely (it will always be on my mind) but even if I didn't have to have Chemo treatments anymore would be a vast improvement ;o)

I want to thank everyone again for their wonderful emails and comments, even if I don't get back to you straight away. My Blogging Buddies are never far from my mind and I'm always wondering what you're up to. I miss you all and I'm glad that you've stuck around to keep me coming back :o) A HUGE ((((HUG)))) goes out to you all!