Sunday, May 05, 2013

Where Or Where Has Pumpkin Been?

I know I promised you an update awhile back and I apologize it's taken me this long to do so. When I 'do' get computer time, I'm either answering emails (only a few), updating my Blog (rarely), checking in on other Blogs (not a lot) or keeping up to date as to what's going on in the cross stitching world. Hey, at least I still have that craving from time to time ;o)

Four weeks ago I ended up sick after my Chemo treatment (I think it was a bug) and it took a HUGE chunk out of me. My mood drastically darkened because of this and I had a hard time digging myself out of that hole. When Junior's birthday rolled around, it was like "I've been living with this crap for a year now! When will it ever end?" The last thing I want to do is think about cancer on my son's big day. Another reason to hate this disease so much >:o(

I had hinted in a post awhile ago that I had some positive news and I do! Back in February I had a new CT Scan and when they compared it to the ones I had in October and December, it showed that my tumors had either disappeared or shrunk in size :o) This was super news but it was darkened by 'another' setback...

Since January, I had been developing these lumps on my skin around my left breast. I had a biopsy done and it was concluded that they were cancerous. D'uh! I knew that. What they didn't do was examine to see if they were the same kind of cancer we're dealing with or if it's something new. Whatever the outcome, the lumps didn't seem to be responding to the Chemo and kept spreading and growing larger :o(

We met with my Oncologist and he felt that because the tumors on the inside were responding well to this Chemo that we would continue on with it. That means it is a wait and see game with the lumps on my skin. They are very painful and I have one that is quite large to the side of my breast. This coming week I'll get that sucker radiated so hopefully that will help. DH and I have noticed that some of the lumps have shrunken and they haven't spread in the past month so we're hoping that's good news.

Also this coming week, I'm going to have a new CT Scan. We're hoping things will look even better and then maybe we'll get an end date for my Chemo. That would be so nice! Even though I seem to be tolerating it pretty well, I'm SO tired! I sleep a lot. I could sleep even more but I don't want life just passing me by.

Every day it seems like I'm living on a fine line; one where I have to balance things just right or else everything just comes tumbling down on me. Yes, I am getting tired of this whole thing; mentally AND physically. I want cancer out of my life. I know it won't be gone completely (it will always be on my mind) but even if I didn't have to have Chemo treatments anymore would be a vast improvement ;o)

I want to thank everyone again for their wonderful emails and comments, even if I don't get back to you straight away. My Blogging Buddies are never far from my mind and I'm always wondering what you're up to. I miss you all and I'm glad that you've stuck around to keep me coming back :o) A HUGE ((((HUG)))) goes out to you all!

37 comments:

Catherine said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your sweet family every day! Hugs!!

Cath said...

Hoping for good news with the next CT. Still thinking of you a lot .
Take care .XXX

cucki said...

Sending you big hugs x

Carolyn said...

Cathey,
That is good news....I could never understand what your going through.

I will keep you in my prayers that the tumors continue to shrink and the lumps disappear. And NO more Chemo!

I wish I could be there to give you a great big hug and we could do some talking and stitching.

Hang in there you have lots of support from many friends who care.

(((Hugs)))

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I am going to keep praying and praying for you dear heart! loving huggles.

Kathy A. said...

Thank you for the update hon. Things are so tough for you. I wish I could take it all away. Please take good care of yourself. I look forward to very positive results soon.
Sending warm supportive hugs!

Angela P said...

That's wonderful that you had some good news and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers for the lumps on your breast to shrink next.

I wish you and your family all the best :) Take care, relax as much as possible and try to enjoy your time with your family :)

Gabi said...

You are always on my mind and I have you in my prayers. You are STRONG and you struggle down this bad disease.
Big hugs, Gabi in Germany

valerie said...

Happy birthday to Junior! Hang in there. You're going through a tough time but it's good that you have a caring husband, doctor and blog friends behind you. :)

Lesleyanne said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for good news for you at your next appointment.

Linda said...

Hi Cathey. I know what you mean about chemo. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Hang in there. I know (and knew in my heart) that you were going to fight this. Sending you hugs and happy thoughts. Give that little guy a hug for me.

Linda

Annie said...

A lot of ups and downs and all of it so difficult to deal with. I feel for you and I'm sending more positive vibes your way.

diamondc said...

Thank-you for the huge hug I am sad that there are more lumps I hope they disappear soon and just go away.
Hugs back at ya
Catherine

Ranae said...

I continue to keep you in my prayers and thoughts
Happy Birthday to the little pumpkin
Take care!
Ranae

Annette said...

Ow Cathey,
That good news, I so hope your new scan will show still more better news, and you can stop treatment so soon as poosible, and enjoy your sweet little boy, who isn't that little anymore.
I hope they can help you fast with the lumps on your breast, I can't imagine how much that must hurt.
I wis you many many good luck!!
Sending best wishes!!
Hoping on a cancer free summer

♥ Nia said...

It's hard sweetie but you'll make it through, you will beat it again!! Stay positive, stay strong, hang on to everything and everyone who makes you smile :)
hugeeeeee hug back to you!!! =)

Tatkis said...

I'm glad to hear the good news!
Sending lots of courage to you!

Hugs,
Tatyana

Sally said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers dear Cathey. Hoping that you get some good news at your next appointment.x

Stitchinowl said...

Hi Cathey, Thanks for the update. Hoping that the next scan brings good news. Stay strong! Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Carolyn

Vickie said...

Dear Cathey, you are so brave and strong. God bless you. I pray for you and your family and the doctors. We love to hear your good news and are praying for more.♥

Nancy said...

Cathey, I hate that you continue to battle this nonsense!! (<--staying 'clean' here) I pray, daily, for you & yours. I KNOW you are going to be victorious!! *hugs*

MaryO said...

Thank God for the good news. You're attitude is an inspiration to me! Prayers to you and your family every day.

Luv. MaryO San Pedro, CA

Sharon said...

Stay strong Cathey! Hoping and praying for great CT results! {{{hugs}}}

Rach G said...

Sending positive thoughts your way for you and your family!!

Carol said...

I can't imagine going through all you've gone through this past year in addition to raising Junior, Cathey! Do you know how much I admire your strength and determination? I wish I lived closer to be able to help in some way, but please know you are in my always in my thoughts... Sending a big hug for strength and I pray that things go well...

Melanie said...

Lots and lots of positive thoughts for you!!!!!!!! *hugs*

Julie said...

Lots of loving wishes and healing thoughts being sent your way for good news at your next appointment.

Brigitte said...

I'm sending you thoughts of strength and courage. (((((((HUGS)))))))

stitcheranon said...

I hate cancer and I hate the fact it is never out of your head: it lurks. Swings and roundabouts is what my nurse tells me: so Fantastic news about the ct scan: just brilliant. The lumps are a pain but bring on that radiotherapy. You are an inspiration: you are touching lives: and we are all including you in our prayers. xxxx

Maggee said...

I am wayyyy behind in blog reading, so first of all, Happy Birthday to Junior, and Happy Mom Day to you! Then, I am glad that the lumps on the side are shrinking and going away from the chemo. I know chemo is awful, but it does have its merits: like preserving lives. I had a lump grow on my left side under 'the' breast and had it cut out, I was so paranoid. It was not cancerous. I sure was glad it was out though! You are stronger than you think! YOU deserve a Big HUGG!!

Anne said...

We've been praying for you my dear!! You are so strong and will make it through this!! Happy Mother's Day!! Sending you big ((HUGS))!!

Frances said...

First wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day. What a joy it must be waking up to that charming baby you have.
I a glad you are making some progress and wish you luck on your next series of scans. And I wish the side effects of the treatments did not leave you so tired and weary.
Continued prayers for peace and healing.

Valma said...

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you sweetie :(
You're very strong really...and it must stay this way
If only I was closer
I keep my fingers crossed for your next news, sincerely hoping they will be better and of course I keep thinking of you and send you positive waves
big big big warm hugs
xxxxx

Rachel S-H said...

keeping you in our thoughts.

TammyK said...

Hoping for good CT results. Thinking of you often blogger buddy (((HUGS)))

Marie said...

I hope that your scan went well and that you are feeling better.

Happy belated birthday to Junior, such a cutie!

Sending you many prayers. Continue to stay strong.

Lynn said...

I'll keep sending positive vibes your way with lots of prayers for continued healing and good CT results.
I hope Junior enjoyed his birthday. I can't believe it's been a year already.