Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yup, literally!

DH, Junior and I went down to Lunenburg on Saturday and I was all spiffed up; looking good with my new bob hairstyle and feeling great because the swelling had been keeping itself down for almost a week. There was hair coming out when I styled it that morning but not enough to panic over and the stuff remaining on my head was pretty solid.

Come Sunday, the dam let loose! I was noticing lots of hair here and there so I went to the bathroom tub to shake it out. One graze of my hand brought out a small handful of brown, and then another, and another. So much had come out that I looked like someone had stuck a hair piece on the top of my balding head! It just kept coming and coming so finally I just told DH to buzz it. It was time...

Okay, I 'thought' I was prepared for it but when I took one look at myself in the mirror after DH was finished, my heart just sank :o( The only way I can describe it is that I looked like an old sick woman. The top of my head still had about a half an inch of hair but the back and the sides where all patchy. Why couldn't I just go straight to the bald point? Would it make it any better? I don't know. Sigh!

Now I sport a hat around the house. I have yet to face the world... I look tired, sad and deflated. My self esteem has taken a HUGE beating, which will certainly affect my confidence. My little boy looks at me and laughs because he thinks Mommy is clowning around with things on her head. If he only knew the truth.

And it hurts. Yes, losing your hair like this does hurt and I'm not sure why. Have you even woken up from a good sleep and had your hair messed up the wrong way so that it's very tender to touch? That's exactly what it feels like, but all over. Well...where I have hair left that is ;o)

I haven't cried yet. I haven't really had much of a reaction at all and that worries me. I feel like someone has driven over me with a truck but that might be from all the walking I did on Saturday. But maybe not. I think this has taken quite a toll on me mentally. I just don't know how to react. I thought for sure I would cry but what I feel is more like numbness.

If you look at the positive side of things (and I believe you have to in order to make it through something like this), my showers will be A LOT faster! LOL! No more shampoo, conditioner, brushes, hair dryers, flat irons, hairspray, elastics, haircuts...I could go on :o) What a weird feeling.

I also get to wear hats and lots of them! So far I have about half a dozen. I'm trying to track down a pumpkin hat and something a little outrageous. Hell, I might as well have fun with this while I can! I have to have the ability to laugh at myself otherwise the seriousness of our situation would kill me.

We meet with the Oncologist on Wednesday and as long as my blood work comes back okay, I'll have my second chemo treatment on Thursday. I doubt I'll have any news for you. He wants me to have at least 2-3 treatments before they do another scan. We can only continue to hope that this all works. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me or have kept me in your thoughts. There's definitely enough of you so maybe the cancer will be scared away ;o)

 

Finishes Seven & Eight For 2012

Continuing on with my finishes from last year, here are two more to share with you :o)

Finish seven is called Flower Motif Pin Kit by La-D-Da -

I received this kit in a grab bag that I ordered from Stitches N Things. It came with everything so that's what I used; 35 count linen and Dinky Dyes silk. I'm not crazy about it. If I remember correctly, I just wanted something quick to do. LOL! If anyone is interested in the pattern, I'll be more than happy to pass it along. Just let me know in your comment (please include a way to get a hold of you) and if there is more than one person that wants it, I'll put the names in a hat :o)

Finish eight is a favorite of mine and one I've had on my To Do List for y-e-a-r-s! It's by The Cricket Collection and it's called Shepherd Bunny -

Now you understand why ;o) This little girl (at least I think she is) was stitched on 28 count Mint Green linen with the suggested threads. The camera really didn't take a great picture; the color of the fabric is a bit off.

Again, thank you for all your great comments! I'm only halfway through my 2012 Finishes list so there's more to come :o)

 

Finishes Five & Six For 2012

I've got a few moments while Junior is passed out in his crib. The kid is exhausted! From the sounds of it last night, I thought he was having a party in his room. Maybe he was... LOL!

I thought I should start posting pictures of my finishes from last year before 2014 rolled around ;o) I have lots to show you as it seems I was very bad at keeping up with my show & tell.

Finish five is called Quilt Patch Heart by Handblessings -

This was a freebie and I stitched it last February when I was in my Valentine's Day kick :o) Unfortunately it has not been made into a pillow as I was hoping but maybe someday soon. I changed the colors on this one but I can't remember to what. D'oh! I know I used DMC. HA!

Finish six is by The MonkeyWorks and it's called Be My Sweet Heart -

I used the colors that were called for and at first I thought they were horrible! That was until I found some fabric that was a perfect match. Again, my intentions were to sew this into a little pillow... I stitched this one on 36 count linen.

Sorry the pictures are so bad! We finally had some snow last night and it's overcast today. I hope you've enjoyed seeing some of my stitching and I promise I'll be back soon with some more :o)

 

Goodbye My Locks

Sigh...this is going to be another hard post for me to write but I thought you should be aware what is going on around here at the Pumpkin Patch.

I know my last update was kind of positive even though I was quite tired. Unfortunately, the further we got into December, the worse things got :o( Yes, I did finish my Cycle 2 even though I was quite ill the very last day of my treatment. Yes, we did go back to NB for the Christmas holidays and it was great! It will be listed as one of the best Christmases in my books :o)

But on Boxing Day evening I found myself in the Saint John hospital getting another stint put in, this time on my left side. This was THE worst hospital experience I've ever had! DH and I only got to talk to the doctor before the surgery and we were told that the tube was inflamed and not blocked. Other than that, we have no idea what he saw when he put the stint in. I was discharged without consultation >:o( And my doctors here STILL don't have that report!

It seems that my cancer does not like me at the moment because it was not responding well with the first Chemo treatment like we had thought. Towards the middle of December it started attacking my lymphatic system, causing fluid to build up in my groin area and my right thigh. This makes things very uncomfortable and debilitating unless I stay off my feet but how easy is that with a nine month old????

Like that wasn't enough, around the same time I developed Inflammatory Breast Cancer :o( It started on my left breast and has spread across my chest even though Righty is just an implant. Apparently there is still 'some' breast tissue left on that side. I thought I had written about IBC on my Blog years ago but I cannot find the post. For me, it started innocently enough with a bruise-like appearance on the underside of my left breast but it quickly developed into a red rash. But the real telltale sign of IBC is when the skin turns to an orange peel appearance and feel. It's very tender and sore and unfortunately there is nothing they can do about it. My only hope is that the Chemo will work and the inflammation will go down with time.

Speaking of Chemo, since my first one didn't work I am now on a new one that I have to get by IV every three weeks. It only takes about a half an hour to administer and I can get it the same time I get my Pamidronate so there are no extra trips to the 'little city'. The only unfortunate part is that I will lose my hair :o( Sniff! I love my hair but I am preparing myself. I'm getting it cut shorter on Wednesday so hopefully when it does come out; it won't be as much of a shock. DH has already bought me three hats for my wardrobe :o)

Needless to say, my spirits have been quite low. I mean, how much more can one person take???? But I won't be beaten and I'm ready to fight again. If only this Chemo would work and take away some of the symptoms, I would be SO happy! I'm tired of the pain and the fact that it's taking even more time away from doing things with Junior. 

I hate the fact that my Blog has become such an unhappy place :o( I have considered closing it down but I love Blogging and I love keeping in touch with my Blogging friends. I'll keep it going for now. I'm doing a bit more stitching so if I can just get some time to take some pictures, maybe I can get this Blog back on track.  I want to thank everyone for sticking with me through this adventure :o)

 

We Begin With The Good :o)

Since I have both good news and bad news to tell you, I thought I had better start out with the good. Seems much better than way; to me anyway :o)

As you may have guessed, it's that time of month again! Yes, Junior is another month older and yesterday he turned NINE months old :o)

LOL! It didn't take much to get a good picture this time. He's really getting used to the camera.

Our little man is so full of his own personality now and he's such a happy guy. He's not walking yet but his legs continue to get stronger and steadier every day. He's definitely mastered his crawling though because it doesn't take him long to get from room to room, especially if I'm opening the freezer door. Yeah, I don't know why :oS

DH and I are still expanding his food pallet but for some reason, he cannot eat straight banana. Ask Grandma ;o) Junior has one awesome gag reflex. We figure it must be the texture because he'll eat banana if we disguise it. We're still trying to get him used to solid food like Cheerios or his biscuit cookies. But if he's left with them too long, the gag reflex kicks in and then DH and I are forced to be the cleanup crew. Ewwww! Thankfully my gag reflex has gotten better over the years. LOL!

The fact that he gags doesn't interfere with his chewing, that's for sure. DH keeps saying that out of all the pets we've had in the past, none of them chewed as much as Junior does! Skin, clothes, furniture, wood, they're all free game to him. He still only has six teeth but that's enough at this point. I'm almost to the point where I want to give him some rawhide to chew on ;o)

I can happily say that Junior has learned how to clap now. It was a problem for DH because Junior was behind the other children his age in what he could do. Yes, the man is a bit competitive ;o)

 

Congratulations To...

The winner of the $100 gift certificate from Anita's Little Stitches goes to -

CATH of The Stitchin' Chicken!!!!

I hope you enjoy shopping Cath and have fun going through all that new stash. Don't forget to share a picture or two of what you bought ;o)

I want to thank everyone who left their name for the giveaway. Again, I wish I could send something out to each of you. Keep your eyes out for more fun in the future :o)

Welcome Winter With A Little Something Special

For awhile now I've been thinking what I could do to give back to my Blogging friends for being there for me over this past year. You know it's been a year of major ups and downs for me and all your comments kept a much needed smile on my face :o) Just knowing I had such a vast support system helped tremendously.

Oh how I wish I could send each and every one of you a little something but that is not possible at the moment so I've had to resort to Plan B. Unfortunately there can only be one winner BUT I hope I can put back a smile on every face that gave one to me :oD

So...how does a $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE sound???? And what if that gift certificate was for Anita's Little Stitches???? Huh? I bet you're smiling now! LOL!

I love Anita's! If you've never been there, check out her website. It always amazes me each time I go because she carries some fun and unique items not found elsewhere. What about a one pound bag of Christmas buttons? Or 55 count linen? Or maybe check out Anita's own designs. Her strawberry emery patterns are adorable and she has 15 sided Biscornus.

There are just a few teeny weenie rules so PLEASE read carefully :o)

1) In order to cash in on the gift certificate, your order must be $150 or more. Technically you're only paying $50 but you know there's things you've wanted to buy for awhile now ;o) Have you been wanting to buy those scissors you've been drooling over but just couldn't justify it? Now you can! Don't think you can buy enough for yourself? Hey, buy some for a friend too! Anita has been so generous to donate this gift certificate so please follow through.

2) You must be a Pumpkin Stalker and a regular commenter. You know who you are and I do too so don't question whether you qualify or not ;o)

3) There must be a way for me to contact you if you are the winner. Either leave your email with you comment or make sure you have it in your Profile. Chances are I probably already have it.

The giveaway will be open until late December 31, 2012. I will be away from the computer from December 21-27 so if your comment does not appear right away, don't fret! When I'm back online I will push comments through. You might want to double check just to make sure though.

I'm sad to say that we did not send out Christmas cards this year (only the second time since DH and I have been married) but I want to wish everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and safe and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! May your holidays be filled with the company of loved ones and may your tummy be filled with turkey ;o) Hugs to all from the Pumpkin Patch!

OMG! OMG! O-M-G!!!!

UPDATE...OH-MY-GOSH!!!!  She's mine!  She's mine!  All mine :o)  I just got an email from a fellow Blogger, Carolyn, and she has more than kindly granted my wish of the pattern AND the beads!!!!  I have the biggest grin on my face :oD  Thank you SO much Carolyn!  My heart has been warmed by your kindness and one day I will do a RAK in your name.  On with my original post while I do a Happy Dance...

UPDATE 2...Okay, this is getting crazy!  Now I have the fabric thanks to the generosity of Gabi :o)  I'm totally blown away.  Really.  And then, a GC from a Secret Santa?  Gee, I must have been a good girl this year.  LOL!  Let me tell you, this sure lifted my mood after being sick for the past 36 hours :o(  I can't thank you enough Gabi and Secret Santa but maybe on Friday I will come close to it...

Okay, last night I was innocently browsing through the ONS when I came upon Mirabilia's new release. Have you seen her yet? I am SMITTEN!!!! Take a look at her -

Isn't she GORGEOUS???? I just HAVE to have her! I do :o) I can SO see myself stitching her and adding her to my collection of beautiful ladies. Actually, I think she would make a perfect match for Sabrina.

Sigh! I miss stitching a BAP :o( There is something about them that is so satisfying and calming and for some reason; I always hate it when they come to an end.

I really hope that Santa leaves me some money ;o) LOL! I would love to have her to start the New Year with. Oh how I wish there was an instant porthole that you could order what you want and just reach in and get it! Wouldn't that just be the best? Come on, someone out there should be able to invent this!

Btw, this is not the Special Something I was talking about in my last post so remember to stick around ;o)

I'm Here!

Hmmmm...I see someone has hacked into my Blogger account ;o) LOL! I've always said that Junior is a smart little boy but I never expected this!

DH and I finally got things straightened around so we could get Junior's monthly photo. He was fantastic this time! I took less than two dozen pictures and voila -

Our boy is now 20 pounds and 27 inches long. He's now wearing clothes that are 12 months :o)

You're probably wondering what Junior's been up to lately. Well, let me tell you...he's crawling. And crawling. And crawling. Plus he's also halfway to walking! I have no idea where he gets his determination from ;o) He's so feisty and once he gets something in his head that he wants to do, look out because he won't stop until he's done it.

Junior has six teeth in :o) Those pearly whites are so cute! He's into eating meat now but we're a little worried that we're behind. We're trying the food for 8 month olds but Junior isn't crazy about them. We were quite surprised that they're so spicy so I'm not sure if that's what is turning him off.

I picked up Junior from the babysitter the other day and found out that him and R had their first fight. LOL! R's mother was telling me there was hair pulling and clawing! I just hope my boy learns to be nice to the ladies and realizes that a lady is always right ;o)

Thanks again for all your wonderful comments :o) Stay tuned for something VERY special later this coming week. Trust me; you aren't going to want to miss it!!!!

Hi Everyone!

It's Junior here :o) I've snuck onto Mommy's computer and thought I might leave a quick post to let you know what's been happening around here. I know you have all been waiting for my monthly picture but it hasn't been taken yet. Mommy and Daddy were going to take it on Sunday but I feel asleep and when I woke up, my hair was a mess, I had a crease on my face from the bed sheet and I had crusties from a snotty nose ;o)

Since her last post, Mommy has been doing quite well except that she has been very, very tired. So much so that she had my Grammy and Grampy come over for five days and then my Grandma and Grandpa over for four. You just know that I was spoiled during this time ;o) I have been trying to help and took up the task of washing windows -

It was hard work though -

Mommy says that she's halfway through 'Cycle 2' and the swelling has gone down under her arm. Whatever that means. All I know is that she seems quite happy about it. She also complains that her fingertips and toes are quite sore. I don't think she caught them in the door but that's usually how I hurt mine.

Daddy has been very busy at work so Mommy has her hands full with me. I don't allow her to do much these days because I'm always on the go and like to have her undivided attention. Hey, it's all about me, right? I'm a super crawler and I'm determined I'm going to walk very soon. Mommy thinks it's hard to keep up with me now. Just you wait!

I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about 'Christmas' and apparently we're going to NB for the holidays. I'll get to have my first ferry ride! I'm anxious to see my Grammys and Grampys again and all my cousins. I'm not sure what the big hype is but everyone seems quite excited. I keep seeing this jolly old man in a red suit. I've never seen him before but he looks kind of funny to me.

I guess I had better get off the computer before Mommy catches me. I know she'll be back as soon as she can. She keeps talking about how much she misses her Blogging friends :o)

The Not-So-Good, The Unpleasant & The Bad

I know the last time I posted about my situation; I didn't leave you with very much information. Unfortunately, the way things have been going, I haven't been given the opportunity to update you until now. As you can see by the title of this post, I've warned you that the news won't be great :o(

On October 26, I met with my Oncologist. Since cancer cells were showing up in my lymph nodes and radiation would only treat specific locations and not the whole body, it was decided that Chemo was my next step. After a quick debate, I went with the oral form. I would take pills every day for two weeks straight and then take one week off. That would be considered 'a cycle'. At that time, we didn't know how many cycles I would be looking at.

So, that Monday, I started swallowing ten pills a day (on top of my others!) but then that same night I found myself going to the ER with an extreme pain in my right side :o( The doctors felt that I had backed up bowels (because of the narcotics I'm on) and sent me home with a prescription. Less than 8 hours later, I was back again with the same pain. Needless to say, I was not feeling very 'human' like on Halloween and missed seeing Junior and the children coming to the door.

During all this, I ended up stopping my Chemo for almost four days, not knowing what the real cause of the pain was and because I wasn't eating or drinking very much. By Sunday, I had had enough (the pain was still there) so it was off to the ER again, knowing that my doctor was on call :o) He thought we 'might' be looking at a kidney stone but he wasn't 100% sure so he ordered another CAT scan and luckily I got in on Wednesday afternoon.

A quick side note...because I'm given a drug called Pamidronate every four weeks, they have to monitor the creatinine levels in my kidneys through blood work. Too high a level can cause kidney damage. I was due my Pamidronate on Thursday so had my usual blood work but it showed my creatinine levels were high. After another repeat test and the levels being even higher, my treatment was cancelled and I was told to stop my Chemo altogether. By this time, I was just short of getting a full week in of Chemo when I should have been almost done a full cycle.

Anyway, when I got home Wednesday night I was NOT prepared for what awaited me when I came in the house :o( From the time my scan was done to the time I got home, DH had heard from my doctor and my Oncologist. The scan showed that a mass was blocking the tube that goes from my right kidney to my bladder and it was not a kidney stone. To add insult to injury, they found another mass on my left side :o( I can't even begin to tell you how defeated I felt at that moment. All I could see were years of my son's life being missed because I was gone. I had a MUCH needed emotional breakdown.

Are you still with me? LOL! The following day we found ourselves at the QEII in Halifax where Dr. B. placed a foot long (at least!) stint in the blocked tube. It was just day surgery but I was put under. Talk about a HUGE relief when I woke up though! Without the pain, I felt like a new woman :o) Depending on what happens with the mass, the stint will either be replaced or taken out in 2-3 months.

So that brings me back to those 'masses'. After talking to my Oncologist, this is what I know...a 'mass' doesn't necessarily mean a 'tumour'. It could be an enlarged lymph node BUT it could still be a tumour. Seeing as I had enlarged lymph nodes in that area back in June, we're hoping that's what they are but the only way to tell the difference is through a biopsy and they're not going to do that.

The action plan now is to repeat my blood work today (hoping the creatinine levels are down now that my kidneys are back in proper working condition) and if everything looks good, I will re-start my Chemo like it was a new cycle. It looks like it will take at least 2-3 cycles to determine if it is taking effect or not. That will be the hard part...waiting. My Oncologist still sounds very positive so that in turn has lifted my spirits enough to continue on this journey.

This journey, yes, that's what it is. Something I thought would only take over my life for a few months has lasted much longer. It's worse than an unwanted guest overstaying his welcome ;o) But as DH says, we'll have to look at it like it is a journey and we'll do it together as a family. My family, my friends and even people I don't even know have been there for me and I can't ask for more. Despite my situation, I am VERY fortunate. I have a devoted (and perfect) husband, a son who is a miracle joy, caring and thoughtful friends and a solid family wall of love and support behind me. THOSE are the 'things' I need to focus on when the road gets rough and there is no journey without rough terrain.

I know a lot of you have sent me things by mail or by email and I'm ashamed of my backlog. I have been keeping up with my Thank You notes so expect something in the mail if you sent me something and have not had a confirmation by email. Unfortunately emails have been put on the back shelf for now but I AM reading them all and appreciate all your wonderful notes and comments! So far I have responded to all comments on my Blog but for this once, if you left a comment before this post and don't require me to respond, I won't. I'd really love to clean up my inbox and that will certainly help. LOL! It doesn't mean that your comments mean any less to me! I hope you understand. Thank you :o) Let's see how life gets on now...

Surprise...I'm On Time :o)

Considering what things have been like since my last post, it's a miracle I'm even here! I know I have complained about time flying by but I REALLY have no idea where it went since I posted on October 22.

So to bring you up to speed on Junior, here he is in all his glory at seven months old -

I guess he takes after his mother when he gets in front of a camera because he just freezes right up ;o) LOL! This was our best shot of this photo shoot.

Yesterday, Junior's top right front tooth came through! YAY! The left is very close behind. Very soon we'll have four pearly whites :o)

His crawling is still in the beginning stages but he will 'crawl' for certain things, including my Crocs. ???? It probably won't be much longer.

DH and I have continued to introduce new foods to Junior. We have found that he loves peas, green beans, peaches and pears. He LOVES sucking on his pieces of apple :o) I was getting a bit worried about his eating but I think he's starting to open up to new things. He definitely makes it known when it's 'cereal time'!

I've been taking Junior to a weekly playgroup that is just down the street from us. He enjoys watching the other children play. They range from his age to about 3 years old. And he's already been kissed by a girl!!!! GASP! My little boy! AND...she's an older woman too ;o) LOL!

Since I wasn't in human form for Halloween (literally!), I'm posting a bonus picture of Junior for you ;o)

Gee, I wonder why his first costume was a pumpkin...

I'll be back shortly to update you on what's happening with me. Thanks for sticking around :o)

Good News & Bad

This post is long overdue but each time I've gone to write it, I'm either too tired or my heart just isn't in it. For this I apologize. I know there are a lot of you who are wondering what has been going on around here so hopefully this will bring you up to speed if you don't already know the latest.

I'll go back to my radiation treatment back in August...in all, I had ten sessions. Luckily, I had minimal side effects. It was the fatigue afterwards that really hit me but we muddled through :o) DH extended his time off until October 1 so I had another month to recoup with someone else helping out with Junior. As the days went on, I was feeling better and better. My pain medication was decreasing and so was the pain in my sternum. Things were going well until...

During the Labour Day weekend, I had picked Junior up when something went funny in my left armpit. The pain sliced right through me. As I waited to see what was wrong, it became apparent to "me" that it was my lymph nodes. Over a period of time, the area would swell and then go back down again. I went to the ER, my family doctor and the Medical Oncologist (MO) and they all said that it wasn't the lymph nodes. My family doctor thought it might be in the bone so I went for another bone scan. It came back clean. My sternum area was still lit up but that can either be from the radiation or the cancer but since it was showing improvements, it's more likely that it was just the radiation causing this.

The MO decided to do a CAT scan as well since it was at least three months since my last one. The good news is that there were no other tumours anywhere and my pelvic area was clean. Even the lymph nodes that were enlarged in that area were good. The bad news...there was an additional 'hole' in my sternum, close to the original one AND I had three enlarged lymph nodes in my left armpit. DH says I should be a doctor ;o)

The MO felt that since the new 'hole' was within the radiated area, it would be treated and he wasn't worried about that at the moment. Based on what he saw and my history, he felt that the lymph nodes were an indicator that the cancer was back :o( He talked about doing radiation on the area but the Radiologist said it would be best not to. Now there is talk of chemotherapy.

Unfortunately this is all the information I have for you at the moment :o( This Wednesday we'll meet with the Radiologist and then on Friday, the MO. DH and I are full of questions since we pretty much feel we've been left in the dark. The lymph nodes are constantly swollen now and have put pressure on some tendons or ligaments in my arm, not allowing me to straighten my arm without a lot of pain. This runs the whole length of my arm. Because of this, my pain medication has been increased a bit; otherwise, I'd probably be off of that right now.

I wish I had more to tell you at this time. It was a huge blow for me to hear the 'C' word again :o( I'm SO TIRED of this and it's been very hard to keep my spirits up lately. Thankfully DH and Junior are my cheering squad and they do look pretty cute in their cheerleading uniforms ;o) LOL!

As soon as we know more, I will post again. Hopefully it won't be a drawn out thing. DH and I just want to get on with our life...

Again, I want to thank everyone for their support. It truly means a lot to me and us :o)

Oups, I Did It Again...

I don't even have to tell you what I did wrong because I know you are all waiting to see the latest picture of the little man ;o) LOL! Here he is -

Can you believe he is SIX MONTHS old???? Again, where does the time go? No, really...where did it go?

Junior has come such a long way, even since last month. His bottom teeth are showing up really well :o) We tried desperately to get him to smile and show them off but that wasn't happening. He is sporting his dimples though.

We've seen so many changes in Junior lately. He can sit by himself without assistance. Of course he still has a few falls with a good thunk to the head but what are a few bumps and lumps? LOL! He is also up on all fours and rocking back and forth, getting ready to crawl. {shudder} His legs are SO strong! I wouldn't be surprised if walking wasn't far behind crawling. Junior was supposed to go for his shots last Wednesday but his appointment got cancelled. He's scheduled to go today so we'll get him weighed in. DH thinks he's running around 18 pounds based on our scales here at home.

We also found a babysitter for Junior! This gives me two days a week where I can schedule other things, like doctor's appointments, and I know he's being well looked after (DH is back to work). The woman who is looking after him has a five year old boy and a seven month old girl (R). Her girl is EXACTLY one month older than Junior. They get along like a house on fire and have quite the conversations. When I pick him up at the end of the day, he chats to me on the way home. I'm not sure what he's saying but it sounds like he does enjoy his play dates. From what I'm told, he likes showing off for R ;o)

I know I keep apologizing for being away from my Blog but I feel quite bad for not keeping in touch :o( It's not that I don't want to. Unfortunately my little hiccup has turned into something a bit more but I will update you in the next few days.

I'm Late, I'm Late!

I'm late for a very important date :o) As I'm sure you already know, Junior turned five months old just over a week ago. Here is a picture of our little man -

I have to say that this has to be one of my favorite pictures of him so far. Look at that devilish grin and just guess what's going on in that little head of his ;o)

Sigh...I've missed all of you. But there is one thing that I'm lacking of lately. Time. I would love more time. Too bad you couldn't squeeze time like a lemon. LOL!

The past few weeks have been filled with all kinds of firsts for Junior :o) He's starting to sit up on his own, without support. We've seen the beginning of what we believe is crawling, although Junior needs to quickly realize that plowing his immobile front end with his hind legs does not really count as a true crawl. LOL!

On the weekend we started him on rice cereal. He's doing really well and takes the spoon with no problems. And we have...teeth! TWO of them! His first one (bottom left) broke through on September 7 and the other one just yesterday. I can't wait to see that toothy smile :o)

Junior has been using his Jolly Jumper and LOVES it. It's hilarious to watch him jump and spin around, all the while laughing and screeching. He's our evening entertainment ;o)

You might not believe this but I 'have' been stitching! Nia will be very pleased with me because I'm catching up on our Halloween Rules SAL. Hopefully I can post some pictures soon.

Where Does The Time Go?

I'm a few days late in posting this. DH and I have no idea where the time has gone but our little man turned four months old this past Friday!

With things being so hectic around here, he never got his photo shoot until Sunday morning. Junior’s wardrobe is narrowing down as our little boy is growing into a big boy ;o) One of my Stalkers will surely recognize the shoes... I’ll apologize now for the ‘do’. That was DH’s contribution. LOL!

On Friday as well, DH took Junior to the doctor for his second set of vaccines. Apparently he was an angel in the waiting room but had a complete meltdown as soon as he was laid down on the table to be undressed. Because of this, he never even noticed the needles. LOL! He weighed in at 14 pounds 12 ounces and is 25 1/4 inches long.

We were pleased to witness Junior roll over this past month and he is working on his laugh. He loves playing and his curiosity is really coming out. He’s also been teething and anything and everything goes into his mouth. DH and I just hope the teeth present themselves soon!

Radioactive Pumpkin

Ha! Sounds like I should be a comic book character doesn't it? :o) 

Today was my first day of radiation treatment. Physically, fairly basic and simple. It's about a 15 minute procedure, although they did take some x-rays in that time frame as well. I lay on a bed/table, much like a CAT scan, and the machine works around me. I'm fitted into a mold of my body and they align me using the 'tattoos' that they gave me a week ago. Two to three minutes later and I'm out the door! Yes there are possible side effects but I'm told they should be minimal.

Mentally, not as straight forward as I thought it would be. During the past couple of weeks, the real toll of what's been happening has risen to the surface. There have been a number of hiccups along the way and although I remain strong, I find myself struggling with my emotions. Anger and sadness are the top two contenders.

Tomorrow we return to the Big City for round two of my radiation treatment. Since my last post, I met with the radiologist and he upped my sessions to ten :o( So that means one down, nine more to go... As far as the pain goes, they told me it might disappear right away or it could take 6-8 weeks after radiation. I'm hoping for the former but any pain relief is good in my books.

I also had my first treatment of Pamidronate. This is a lengthy procedure but painless IF the nurse manages to get the needle into your vein the first time. Honestly, my veins are a nurse's dream! Go figure... There is one side effect that I have noticed and that's a body ache/stiffness afterwards. It only lasted a few days so it wasn't too bad.

I met with the Gyny Oncologist today as well. Things look really good and I'm free to start exercising AND pick up Junior :o) That was music to my ears! Well, to be totally honest, I have been cheating for the past week. LOL! I miss that little boy so much. I still have to be careful because of my sternum but at least I have the green light.

I know I haven't been around much but like I said, there have been a few hiccups along the way. I have managed to put in some stitching and I have even finished a project! Woohoo! Now all I need to do is catch up with my Blog posts so you can see for yourself and know that I'm not fibbing ;o)

Again, a big thank you to everyone who has left a comment, emailed or even snail mailed me :o) I wish you could know just how much your support and friendship mean to me. I know this is supposed to be mainly a cross stitch Blog (with a few of life's bumps thrown in) but it's been consumed with my current health situation. I see I've lost a few Stalkers and it may be because of that, I don't know. Cancer has robbed me of friendships along the way so I really appreciate those that stay. Stay tuned for something fun!

And So It Begins...Again...

Tomorrow I will find myself (for the second time), battling 'The Big C'. Unfortunately this time it's not as simple. The doctors cannot give me the treatment and then say "You're cured!" No, this time the cancer is here to stay :o( Now it's all about making me comfortable (from the pain), getting my body into remission and keeping it there.

A few weeks ago the surgeon called to let me know about the pathology report. It was found that because it's been 12 years since my breast cancer, the cancer cells are presenting themselves a little differently but...they 'believe' the new sites are breast cancer related. That leaves me with a bit of doubt in my mind but that's the best they can give me unless the treatments don't work and prove them wrong. Great system, don't you think? I know I have some of the best doctors on my case but after my initial experience, it's hard to put my full faith in someone else's hands.

So yesterday, DH and I went into the 'big city' to meet with the Medical Oncologist. The day had finally arrived where I would know the plan of attack. In a nutshell, my treatment will consist of the following...

I'm being put on a drug called Letrozole (brand name Femara). For how long, I don't know. It's similar to Tamoxifen and does the same thing by lowering what estrogen levels I have left in my body. If the cancer were to return, then that might be the point where chemotherapy is called for. The doctor believes that my outlook is good considering the length of time since my breast cancer back in 2000.

I'll also be given a drug called Pamidronate every month. It's given by IV and takes about 2-3 hours. This will help strengthen my bones and aid in rebuilding the hole in my sternum. We'll have to travel to the 'little city' for this.

Finally, there will be radiation on my sternum to help with the pain. I have an appointment next week with the radiologist so we'll know more about this then. The oncologist said it 'might' be a five day course and that it will be fairly soon. I'm not thrilled about radiation but the pain is getting worse. I've tripled my long lasting pain medication and it still hurts...a lot!

Right now, DH and I are still trying to wrap our heads around what is happening and how it will affect our lives. It took me eight years to get over the fear of my breast cancer returning and now...well now I have to live with the fact that this is being treated like a chronic disease and I'll be screened for the rest of my life :o( There is no escaping it this time. But...I am stronger so I'm sure I'll be able to figure out a way that cancer doesn't take over my life. I've got two very good reasons right here with me ;o)

I just cannot get over all the wonderful cards/emails full of support, prayer and friendship, along with thoughtful gifts that will help alleviate some of the financial burden. It touches my heart that we mean that much to people. I've tried my best to send out thank you notes or reply to Blog comments but if you didn't leave an email address, I could not get back to you personally.

So here's to another direction in life! Hopefully the road will be much smoother than I anticipate.

Another Month

Guess who turned three months old today? Yes, that would be our little Junior :o)

Doesn't he look handsome? He wasn't really into his photo shoot today but I did manage to get one good picture. We'd rather have him smiling but you take what you can get in these situations.

Time is going by so fast! I can't believe the changes in such a short period of time. Junior is more interested in the world around him now and gets easily distracted. He LOVES ceiling fans! No toys here. Just buy the boy a fan and he's happy :o) LOL! He's also found his tongue and is constantly trying to put his fists into his mouth. We can't bribe him with soothers anymore but he does love his doggy snugglies.

Junior got weighed yesterday and he came in at 13 lbs. 3 oz. I measured him and he's about 25 inches long. I can hold him and feed him but he feels so big in my arms now. Even though I have a little more interaction with Junior, I still can't get enough of him :o)

Fourth Finish For 2012

"Well it's about time!" you're saying ;o) LOL! I'm 'way' behind in showing you what I've got stitched up so there's going to be a lot of catching up to do.

I had this done back in February or March, I can't remember. This is Happy Valentine's Day by Passione Ricamo -

It was stitched using Waterlilies Cardinal on 36 count Antique White linen.

My 'initial' idea was to have this finished into a pillow before I posted it to my Blog and my intentions were good! I had the pillow all sewn up and when I went to turn it right side out, I was crushed to find out that I had the fabric reversed >:o( Needless to say, I was mad and it was put aside. I will get back to it though, I promise ;o)

Stay tuned for more!